I'm broken
by vixen-s.m.f
Summary: A young girl witnesses a horrible event and it haunts her dreams for ten years. She chooses to forget and begins to lose herself in the process. Will something help her or someone bring her back to life before it’s too late? Or will her past take over h
1. Default Chapter

Summary: A young girl witnesses a horrible event and it haunts her dreams for ten years. She chooses to forget and begins to lose herself in the process. Will something help her or someone bring her back to life before it's too late? Or will her past take over her? This is a Inu/Kag fic.  
  
Hello, this story is rather enjoyable. I got into it and I hope you do too. After you read please review. I need to know your reactions. I need feedback. I have a describing problem. I can't describe well but I tried my best on this story. Thanks. review. Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just my imagination.  
On with the story. Enjoy

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I lived it over again  
  
_The dark alley had an eerie silence as the cold wind dared to enter it's pitch black entrance. Still then, the wind blew it's way to the dead end and raced it's way back to the mouth where I was standing. It blew harshly at me that I was blown a couple of steps back. It was well past midnight and only someone not in their right mind would go in there. I…I didn't. I didn't even know how I got there. I stood before it, stared into nothingness, feet glued to the ground, goose bumps making their way down my arms, and a sudden chill coursing up and down my spine. My eyes grew wide as my name was recited maliciously, echoing from the end to me. As it finally reached me, it sounded deadly. It was a hoarse whisper with a menacing laugh hidden within. I shivered and didn't dare move, whatever it was, it was calling out to me, it wanted me to follow it, to enter the dark alley. Then all of a sudden, I was gliding into the tunnel. I couldn't stop myself. The darkness surrounded me and as I looked back, the darkness swallowed the little light that lit up the street. I was forced to look in front of me. My eyes were wide open but it felt like I had them closed. They couldn't get adjusted to the dark.  
  
"Kaaaaaggggggooommee." It slithered out in a venomous whisper. I shut my eyes and they snapped open as I was greeted with flashbacks, memories that haunted me when I started to forget.  
  
The sound of a gunshot. My mother's blood shrilling screams. With each passing moment, it gets louder and becomes real that I see it all happen again.  
  
I fall on my knees, hands covering my ears and my eyes tightly shut. I snap my eyes open again as it comes clearer.  
  
My father on the floor, not moving, being shot repeatedly. I looked at the other side of the room and I see my mother frightened. Never have I seen her like how she was. She was a strong woman and yet she cowered before the intruder. She begged for her life and the stranger laughed. I turned away, not being able to see what happens next, I look at her again. She was shot in the head. Her lifeless body fell graciously and slowly as time stopped.  
  
"NOOOO!! NOOO! MOMMY." I ran out from the secret door hidden by the coat closet to my mother. "No. Mommy? Mom?" Then the angle from it all changes. I'm in a white room with a window and I see it happen again and the 6 year old child runs out of the door. I hear the little girl scream. "NOOOO!!!" "Someone help them. HELP." No one could hear me for the room was soundproof. I started to bang on the window. "NOOOO!!" Not one sound escape my mouth. "NOOOO."_  
  
"NOOOO. NOOOO." 

"Kagome. KAGOME!!" I awoke as my friend shook me violently. Her blood shot eyes pierced at me, filled with worry and tears.  
I looked at my hands and noticed they were trembling fiercely. I was soaked with cold sweat and my body was shaking. I started to sob and my friend hugged me.  
"It's okay Kagome. I'm here. You're safe. You're not alone."

"I watched it happen again. I saw me run to the corpses on the dining room floor. I saw it from a different point of view this time. Sango, it's still haunting me, after ten years it's still fresh in my mind."

"It's okay. Kagome, I'm here. Don't cry."

"I won't. I won't cry anymore. I won't think about it anymore. I won't remember anymore. I won't remember my past. I will only pay attention to now and the future. The past is buried. I swear to you Sango, I will not remember."

"Kagome don't. Don't bottle up your feelings. Don't block out happy memories." Tears ran down her face as she put a strand of hair behind my ear.  
"I need to forget. I can't remember anymore. I can't bare to see my mother's lifeless eyes staring into mine. Don't make me, please Sango, don't make me." I cried hysterically and looked pleadingly, desperately at her.  
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." She hugged my crying form and cried as well. I will forget, I will have no past.

* * *

3 years later  
  
Sango sat in the tile checkered diner, sitting in the bar, in front of an old waitress. The old woman looked about 60 and had a patch on her left eye. She handed a cup of coffee to the young girl.  
"I don't know what to do anymore. She's just there. She doesn't react normally. She's starting to scare me." Sango said as she slowly sipped her coffee.  
"We must give her time. We must be patient. The child has been through a lot at such a young age. No one deserves to witness such a scene." The old woman sighed.  
"But she's dying. She's dying inside. Time is not on her side. She doesn't need time, she needs a miracle. Something to bring her back from the phase she's in. Kaede, I'm worried." She bit her lip, trying to keep it from trembling.  
"Sango, I know my niece and I think she's getting better." She smiled slightly. Sango touched the old woman's hand and slowly shook her head.  
"No Kaede, no she's not. I would love to think that but I'd be wasting away believing it. If anything, she's getting worse. I haven't seen her bright, cheerful smile in 3 years. It started to fade as time passed. Her eyes glowed like the sun, but now the light has dimmed ridiculously. By the time we know it, it'll be gone. Time is not helping her heal, it's making her disappear. She's killing herself Kaede." Her voice went from stable to shaky then to a whisper. A tear ran down the old woman's cheek.  
"Yeah well, I have to get back to work. Have a nice day Sango." Her voice slightly broke and she cleared her throat then disappeared into the kitchen. Sango, not being able to hold the tears in any longer, kept her head down as she passed the costumers and went into the ladies room. She looked to see if anyone was around then went into a bathroom stall and locked it. 

"DAMN YOU!!!." She screamed with rage as she kicked and punched the walls with all her strength. She slid down to the ground, hugged her knees and sobbed uncontrollably.  
Life wasn't fair and it never will be.

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I got into it as I wrote it but as I read it, I didn't feel anything. Did you? I need to know. Please review and tell me if you felt what the characters felt. Thank you. R&R 


	2. Yet another Approach

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I'm back. Sorry for taking so long. This is a long chapter. Hopefully you enjoy it. I would like to thank those who reviewed. I was really happy. I thank you for returning. I tried to describe as best as I could but I have a problem, I can't describe even if it killed me. Oh well, enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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**Yet another approach  
**  
"Miss. Miss? Are you alright?" The waiter stared at me as I woke up from my daze. I shook myself out of my thoughts and nodded. I forced a smile but failed miserably. I cleared my throat and didn't look straight into the old man's concerned eyes.  
  
"Of course. If you excuse me, I have to go now." I placed the five dollars on the table and slid off the booth. I looked past everything, everyone and made my way out of the Café. I walked onto the sidewalk and ignored everything that happened around me. I kept to myself and so did everyone else. That was one great thing about Tokyo, Japan. Everyone minds their own business; the world is better off that way, I was better off that way. I appreciated my freedom from everyone and no one can take that away from me. I was knocked out of my thoughts as someone ran into me.  
  
"HEY,WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!" The stranger barked. I disregarded the stranger in front of me and walked around him, and acted as if nothing happened.

* * *

Inuyasha stared after the strange girl. "What just happened? I practically bellowed at the girl and she didn't even look at me."   
  
"I don't know my friend but she made you look like a complete jerk just now. How can woman do that? And it's always the pretty ones." The guy beside him grinned and looked at Inuyasha after staring at the girl. "She's long gone now, why are you still looking over there? Yeah, she was attractive and…"  
  
"Okay, Miroku, that's enough. She's not attractive. She doesn't get my attention at all..." Inuyasha trailed off as his eyes remained on the blurred figure.  
  
"Right. Come on Pinocchio, we can't stay here all day. Let's go." Miroku grabbed Inuyasha's arm and pulled him the opposite direction.

* * *

"Aunt Kaede? Are you here?" I closed the diner's door and looked for a familiar face.  
  
"Yes child. How are you?" She came out of the kitchen and wiped her hands on her apron as she pulled me in a tight hug. She released me and smiled. As she smiled, I noticed that it didn't reach her eyes. The sight pained me slightly but I shook it away.  
  
"Can I have a cup of coffee? I'm going to wait for Sango when she's off her shift."   
  
"Of course Kagome. But are you sure that you want to spend your time here? You have the grave yard shift today." She walked me to the counter and told me to sit.   
  
"It's fine. I have no other plans in mind." I waited patiently for my coffee and didn't meet Kaede's eyes. I couldn't confront people. I barely looked at Sango and Kaede's eyes. I knew what they were thinking and I just couldn't face it. They could never hide their feelings, it was always written in their eyes.   
  
"Thank you Aunt Kaede. So how was your day today?" I sipped at my coffee.  
  
"Just fine. Kagome, I…um…" She hesitated and turned away as she slowly spoke. "Kagome, I want you to live your life. Be happy, accept people."  
  
"Kaede, I don't…I don't want to have this conversation. I got to go. Tell Sango I'll be at the apartment and thank you Kaede. Than…thank you." I got up from the seat and hugged Kaede quickly. I let go before she could respond and walked out the door, not once looking back. How could I face that? I'm sorry that she's hurting in the process. I can't take that pain away, if I could, I wouldn't be in this situation.

* * *

"Hey where's Kags?" Sango came out of the restroom, already out of her work clothes.  
  
"She left. I scared her away. I wanted to talk to her but…s-he, s-she…" Kaede sobbed into her hands and Sango hugged her.  
  
"It's okay. It's alright."  
  
"Hey what's the matter Lady Kaede?" A guy walked up to the 2 woman. The guy looked about 23 years of age judged by the youthness of his face. He wore a black shirt and raggedy blue jeans; his eyes purple.   
  
"And you are?" Sango asked the rather good looking guy in front of her.  
  
"Oh Miroku, no need to get worked up over a distressed old woman." Kaede sniffed and wiped her face, giving Miroku a warm smile.  
  
"Don't worry, we weren't." Another guy appeared beside Miroku with an annoyed look on his face. The aggravated guy also looked about 22, 23, one of those. He had white long beautiful hair and his eyes were amber. Any wise man could say he was mysterious, somewhat strange with no manners what so ever.   
  
"Don't talk to Kaede like that." Sango defended as she glared at the stranger while holding on to Kaede.  
  
"Don't mind this angered fellow. He's a strange one. No need to waste time arguing with HIM." Kaede giggled as she blew her nose.  
  
"Excuse us hag, we're hungry. Mind serving us something?" The stranger scoffed exasperatedly.   
  
"Inuyasha, no time to think about eating. Our beloved friend is in need of comfort. Hello miss. You are lovely. What is your beautiful name?" Miroku took Sango's hand and bowed. Sango was confused by the action but snorted at the lame pick up line.  
  
"Excuse me but can I have my hand back? I have no intention of giving you my name." Sango didn't trust this person. She had a feeling he was up to no good at all and she wasn't about to ignore her instincts just because of his 'kindness'.   
  
"I can't say I'm not a little hurt milady. Maybe this would cheer you up." Before Sango could respond, Miroku touched the off limits. Sango yelped and smacked his face.  
  
"DON'T. EVER. TOUCH. ME. AGAIN." She threatened as she slammed him to the ground. Kaede laughed and as did Inuyasha. In fact, the whole diner was in fits of laughter.  
  
"I'm out of here. See you tomorrow Kaede. I'm meeting up with Kagome." Sango glared at Miroku as she hugged Kaede then stormed out of the diner.  
  
"She is something else. Who is she?" Miroku's eyes sparkled as he helped himself up.  
  
"Looks like you met your match." Inuyasha laughed as he sat down.   
  
"So Lady Kaede, gonna tell us what's wrong?" Miroku said as he sat next to Inuyasha.  
  
"Not now. I'm starving." He moaned.  
  
"Well, it's my niece. She's been…" She sighed as she struggled to continue.   
  
"Go on." Miroku encouraged.  
  
"She's having trouble accepting things. She doesn't show any feelings whatsoever. She's completely blocking herself from the world. She was a very touching person. She cared for people and she had this great kindness for people, now she refuses to even smile." She sniffed as she explained.  
  
"Why? What happened to her? I'm majored in psychology, maybe I might know how to help." Miroku said.  
  
Inuyasha snorted. "Please. She's just being spoiled. She wants attention." Miroku smacked him across the head. "Please, continue." He said while ignoring Inuyasha's swears.  
  
"Are you listening? HEY! I'm talking to you." Inuyasha growled.  
  
"When she was 6 years old, she saw her parents get murdered. The intruders killed her family before her very young eyes. She recovered it as she got older but as time started to heal her heart, it would come back to haunt her dreams. She could never forget the tragedy so she promised herself to forget everything. She erased her childhood and her memories. She was protecting herself, of course but then she started to protect herself from life itself. She started to lose herself…"  
  
"I get what you're saying. She's like this zombie. Her soul is lost and the only thing she can feel is pain. She may think she's blocking her emotions but that's the emotion she's stuck with." Miroku analyzed.   
  
"Exactly. She needs someone to wake her up, I've tried but she runs away. I don't know what to do anymore." Kaede sniffed as she brought the hungry guys two bowls of ramen noodles.   
  
"I'll talk some sense into her. Feh, she doesn't care what it's doing to people." Inuyasha said through a mouth full of noodles. How they understood him, no one knows.  
  
"Inuyasha, you have to understand that she's not doing this for attention." Kaede clarified.  
  
"Look, I'll help but I'll do it my way. Now, how do I get in touch with her?" Inuyasha asked as he pushed his empty bowl towards Kaede, begging for seconds.  
  
"She's working tonight actually. She has the grave yard shift." Kaede poured more noodles into the bowl, granting Inuyasha's wish.  
  
"Grave yard shift, huh? Kind of scary; especially in Tokyo. Avoiding people, isn't she?" Miroku figured.  
  
"I really don't know." Kaede sighed.  
  
"No problem. I'll just stop by and make her realize what she's doing. Tell her her little plan isn't working out. She's gonna have to lock herself inside her house in order to avoid me. Worry no more Kaede. Problem will be solved." Inuyasha confirmed as he started to walk towards the door. "Inuyasha, you can't force her out of it. That's not how it works." Miroku protested.  
  
"Yeah sure, whatever. Hey hag, mind telling me her name that way I know I got the right girl." He called as he opened the door.  
  
"Kagome. Kagome Higurashi." She sighed once more.  
  
"Kagome. Hm, sounds like a spoiled brat." He chuckled as he left the eatery, leaving Kaede and Miroku wince at the thought of him helping.  
  
"He's going to get himself killed, isn't he?" Miroku questioned even though he knew the answer.  
  
"Yes Miroku, yes he is. Coffee?" She asked with a smile while having the pot in her hand.  
  
"Why, yes. Thank you."

* * *

"Kagome, it's time. If you want, I can drive you to work." Sango knocked on the door.

"No, that's fine. I should get my exercise and walk. I'll be right out." I answered, not at all paying attention. Mind somewhere else, having no idea what she even said. I just heard her talk, I wasn't listening. I stared at nothingness, I just remained seated in the tub. Not even entertained by the bubbles around me, I completely went into a trance, not knowing how to wake up from it. Am I stuck in a dream? Somewhere in my head?   
  
I slowly finished my bubble bath and got out of the tub. After finished dressing, having no clue how I got dressed, I found Sango in my room.  
  
"Hey." I said a bit surprised as I saw her sitting on my bed. I spotted an album of pictures on her lap and uneasiness washed over me. Oh no, please don't.   
  
"Hey, Kagome. I was just looking at some old photos. I found the one where we dressed western. Remember when we removed the manikins in the display box and we stood there, pretending we were manikins. We were laughing because each time a different person passed, we posed differently." Sango laughed at the memory and slowly stopped as she looked down.

"Of course I remember. That was the silliest thing we ever did. How could I ever forget?" I answered with no expression on my face whatsoever. Afraid of what might happen, I slowly turned around, knowing this was going to turn out bad.   
  
"I wish we could have fun just like that time again. Just one more time. One more time where I can have my best friend back cos gods know I need one." She laughed as she sniffed. I closed my eyes, wishing I was somewhere else.  
  
"You have one." I replied.   
  
"No I don't. I lost her 3 years ago." She retorted. She began to cry into her hands, I know because I heard the muffled sobs.   
  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I changed. I'm sorry I bring so much pain to you and Kaede. I'm sorry I can't be a good friend. I'm sorry for saying I'm sorry and not being able to change. Cos usually when you say you're sorry, you learn from your mistakes and avoid doing it again but I…I can only keep doing it, inflicting pain. At least, I'm sorry, right? I'll be back at 6. Call if you need anything." I walked a fast pace out of the room and out of the hall. I could hear Sango's sobs and I continued to walk fast, almost running, out the door.

* * *

"I'm here Kaede. Where is she?" Inuyasha said as he burst through the doors.  
  
"She should be here any minute now. I'm not going to be here to watch you. So Inuyasha, please don't do anything irreparable." Kaede begged as she took off her apron.   
  
"Feh. Just make sure you point her out when she walks in." He ordered.  
  
"I swear Inuyasha that temper of yours is going to get you in big trouble one of these days." Kaede warned.  
  
"Hey you should appreciate what I'm doing for you. I'll have her fixed by the end of the night." He clarified as he popped his fingers.  
  
"If it doesn't, it's going to come back to bite you in the a…" Kaede was interrupted as the door opened and in walked Kagome.  
  
"Hey, Kaede. Sorry I'm late." I said exasperatedly as I walked to the back. Inuyasha slowly sank into his seat as he saw the familiar girl pass by him, once more getting his attention.  
  
"It's her." He whispered only for him to hear. What a small world. "The same girl I bumped into earlier today." He eyes stared at her with intensity as he slolwy sank into the booth.  
  
"That's Kagome in case you haven't figured it out yet. I'm leaving now so DON'T do anything stupid. KAGOME." She called as she went to the back, leaving Inuyasha stare at the same direction dumbfounded.  
  
The two woman came out in deep conversation and Inuyasha heard most of what they were saying.   
  
"Kaede, I told you NO." I protested.  
  
"I just want you to meet a friend of mine."   
  
"NO, I don't want to. Is he here? Kaede I'm leaving."   
  
"No you can't. I'm gone, you can't leave the place unattended." Kaede pointed out as she ran out the door.  
  
"Hey! Kaede, you can't leave me here alone. KAEDE! I'LL DISOWN YOU. KAEDE." I yelled as I ran towards the opened door.   
  
Inuyasha laughed at the scene and at the sulking face the girl had.   
  
I dragged my feet as I made my way to the counter, towards the unserved people. I took 3 orders before I walked up to the fourth customer.  
  
"Hello, welcome to Kaede's Diner, what will you have tonight?" I said dully at the costumer, looking at only my notebook.   
  
Inuyasha, for some strange reason, couldn't help but smile at the non-smiling girl.  
  
"Great smile." He said sarcastically.   
  
I tore my eyes away from my notebook and glared at the stranger. As I did, I noticed his breath taking eyes and his beautiful white long hair. He was very attractive but I wasn't going to let that get in the way. The first thing I needed to do was stop looking deep into his eyes. Look away. Look away…and I finally broke the whole gazing into each other's eyes thing. I looked down at my notebook, ready to take his order.  
  
"What will you have?" I said slowly.  
  
Inuyasha couldn't believe what he was feeling. That moment was suppose to be a negative one, not a electric feeling coursing through your body moment. As he stared at her eyes, he was stuck; he didn't know what to do next. For the first time in his life, he wasn't in control, he was powerless. He wanted to gaze at her eyes longer. Why did she have to look away? Her irritated voice broke his thoughts. He cleared his throat and was speechless. He couldn't think of anything to say.  
  
"I'll just come back." I said as I turned away, not once looking at him.   
  
"Kaede told me all about you." He said as he found his voice. I stopped dead in my tracks and closed my eyes, hoping beyond hope he wasn't talking about what I think he was talking about.   
  
"What?" I asked as I cleared my throat.  
  
"About how you avoid people. How you lock yourself inside. How the only emotion you feel is pain." He whispered. That hit me, those words hit me hard. I spun around and looked at him. Why? Why is that getting to me?   
  
"Shut up. You don't know anything. Not a damn thing. So just shut up." I shot back.  
  
"Why are you running away? Why are you hiding? Do you think someone is just going to come and look for you? Take you away from it all?" He said as he crossed his arms, thinking he had it under control.   
  
"Who the hell are you? Where do you get at telling me how I live my life? Get out." I demanded as I kept my eyes staring past him. Thank goodness for his height. He got up and walked closer to me.  
  
"Stop pushing people away. You're hurting your aunt, you know." He said as he walked closer. I started to back away, desperately looking for a way out.  
  
"You don't know me. You're just some stranger who takes pleasure in reminding people things they don't want to remember. I can clarify that just by looking at you. Your life is just as crumbled as mine and yet you stand here and tell ME how to feel? You're just as messed up as I am. You think I'm hiding? Guess what? We're hiding in the same dark place." I declared as I ganged up on him. With every word, I walked a step closer as he stepped back. "Guess who's on top now?" I smiled as tears ran down my face. His smile turned into a sneer as I detected his problems. He looked at me, wide eyed, shocked that I could tell right off the bat how his life wasn't perfect either. He probably thought he was cleverly hiding his.  
  
"You're crying. Something that happens often, I believe. You think you know me? At least I can feel happiness. I bet you forgot that feeling, huh?" He scorned. I gaped at him, unbelieving the night I was having. That was harsh. That hurt so bad. So what if I feel pain and nothing else. I took off my apron and let it fall off me as I ran out the diner, anger and sadness clouding my mind. I ran as far as my legs could take me.

* * *

"WAIT. KAGOME. Damn it." Inuyasha yelled unbelieving the words that escaped his mouth. Kaede was going to kill him. What he did was irreparable and he felt horrible for making a beautiful girl, who he didn't even know, cry. He was a jackass and he knew it. He missed up big time and it was going to take time to forget. One of the other customers tapped him on the shoulder rather harshly.   
  
"Since you seem to be a real good friend of Kaede's, you can tell her why her diner was left unattended moron. Nice going."   
  
Inuyasha looked at the stranger, anger boiling inside him. He didn't like the way he was talking to him. Heck, he didn't even like the way he looked. The sight insulted his very eyes, it completely sickened him. His stupid long ponytail and his stupid blue eyes. He just wanted to punch the daylights out of him. What was he trying to do? Trying to be the kind, caring person the girl falls for at the end? Well, this ending will be different. The day he lets this idiot take the girl will be the day he rots in hell. What girl exactly, who knows. Or maybe he did know, just didn't want to admit it.  
  
"Excuse me, you lame excuse of a human. Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Get the hell out of here. I'm in charge of the diner for the time being so get lost." Inuyasha growled as he glared daggers at the stranger.  
  
"I was on my way out. Since you scared off the beautiful angel , I have no intention to stay." He smirked at Inuyasha as if knowing something he didn't. The very thought of hearing this idiot talk about Kagome made his fists clench. He trembled from all the rage that flowed in his blood.   
  
"GET. OUT." He said as a low growl sounded in his throat. The guy started to back away and left, smiling.  
  
Inuyasha slammed the door which caused the window to break from the pressure. "GREAT." This is what I get for treating her the way I did. Kaede is going to kill me. Inuyasha sat in a booth and let his head fall hard on the table.

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Well, what do you think? Real sorry for the long wait. Please forgive me. I think I described Inuyasha's anger better at the ending. I guess I'm getting better…hopefully. Anyway, hope you liked it. Please make me happy and REVIEW. Thank you returning and stay tuned for the rest of the chapters. Don't forget to review!!!!!! 


	3. A little push can't hurt, right?

Thank you all for reviewing. It means so much to me. I'm so happy. I love writing this story because I have a lot of sad drama songs so i get into it. So if you have sad dramatic songs, preferably 'Broken' by Seether featuring Amy lee. The song is heard on the movie The Punisher. I came up with the idea of this story while hearing that song. It goes well, especially in the future chaps. Thanks for returning. Hopefully you enjoy it when done....REVIEW. Sorry for the yelling. See ya aftr the story.  
  
Here it is people the DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING WHAT SO EVER. JUST MY DREAMS.

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**A little push can't hurt, right?**  
  
My body ached as I ran to absolutely nowhere. I needed to get rid of feeling the all too well known emotion…pain. I was confused and my head was clouded. How did he get through the wall I built protecting myself? It was sturdy, no signs of collapsing. How did he manage to get to me? I was guarded and shielded; nothing could get me, I made sure of that. Yet, his voice…his words slithered past the shield and hit me. I broke out of my thoughts as I noticed I stopped and stood in the center of a park. The park that revealed my identity, my whole life, and my memories. They still remained in the cold night air, flying freely with the cherry blossoms. I shivered and realized I didn't have my sweater on. I stared at the playground my brother and I use to play on. The memories were still fresh on my mind that I saw us playing tag on the monkey bars. I could still feel him near me, his presence. I looked at me and I was happy. I was 5 years old and I wasn't alone. I heard myself laugh at my brother's clumsiness, a sight that I have forgotten. My mother and father appeared at the scene and they were smiling, they were full of life. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought the family I saw before me never belonged to me. My eyes dimly lit at the scene and as I started to walk closer, the image faded into the dark night. I once again felt alone in the world. I fell again into the same misery and I lost them once again.   
  
_"At least I can feel happiness. I bet you forgot that feeling, huh?"_   
  
I did. I lost the feeling of happiness. I ran out of the park as fast as I could and as I did, the cherry blossoms blew around me as if urging me to stop. I didn't turn back, I left my family, my life and all the thoughts that stranger buried in my head in the park. I ran and ran, not once noticing the pain in my side. I ran to my apartment and walked unsteadily into my room. I closed the door and locked it, leaving me to drown in my own misery. I shakily made my way to my bed and fell limply on it. I laid there, not moving and just simply stared at the ceiling; the white, blank, ceiling. I realized that we displayed the same emptiness, the same blankness. I numbed my body, my feelings and my thoughts. I began the process of elimination. The memories must be erased and never restored. As I erased each one, tears fell from my eyes but my face remained expressionless. I went into a trance again and found myself shut in. I couldn't wake up from it and I didn't want to. I stayed that way for quite awhile and eventually I covered myself and fell into a somewhat decent slumber. In my sleep, I was elsewhere and I didn't know where I was. It was like I was in a coma or something. All I know was that time was moving on without me.

* * *

"No, no. Don't worry about it, Kaede. I'm sure she's alright. I know she's been locked in her room for 3 days. Please, don't get hysterical. Can you tell me what happened? Did you tell her something? No, it's not your fault. What did you tell her? You didn't? Then what happened? Kaede? Ka…yes, I'm coming to work. Alright, I'll be there, bye." Sango slowly put the phone in the receiver, slowly interpreting Kaede's hysterics. She sighed as she walked towards Kagome's door and knocked gently. "Hey Kag, please come out. You haven't eaten in 3 days. Why won't you come out? I'm scared Kagome. Kaede is hysterical. Don't you care? Not even a little? At least talk or something so I'll know if you're alive." No movement or anything to indicate she was alive or dead. "FINE. I'm going to work already. I missed work just to see if you'd come out but I guess now it was a waste. Kagome?" Sango pressed her ear against the door trying to hear any movements once more. She turned the knob expecting the door to open but was mistaken, it was still locked. She knocked again as she didn't hear an answer. "Hey Kagome, open up." Still no answer or a sound escape from the room. "Ugh, fine. I'll call later to see if you at least pick up your phone. Bye." Sango walked away from the room and before walking out the door, she glanced at her room once more with concerned eyes, then left feeling defeated.

* * *

I grabbed my pillow and covered my ear, trying to mute Sango's saddened voice. I rolled over making my back face the door and closed my eyes, wishing to disappear. All the guilt and hate was almost catching up to me, no thanks to that idiot. "Has it really been 3 days? Poor Kaede. How can I face them? How can I face him?" Realization dawned on me and reality started to sink in. I began to thing about it and grunted as I blocked my emotions. "That idiot. Who does he think he is?" And Sango, she wants me to open the door. I snorted, "Yeah right. I'm not opening my door. No one is allowed to come in." I once again felt as if I was giving into my pain. I never gave in or gave it a second thought in 3 years. How could his words put me in such turmoil. Even if I did give in to my pain, wouldn't that drive me t suicide? It's at the point where I can't just face it or admit to it. It's way past that line. Even if I wanted to live again, I couldn't. I waited too long, there's no going back. I'm stuck here, in the middle of nowhere. I realized thinking about it was not helping at all so I decided to give in to my trance, it's much easier. I pulled myself into it and remained there. I laid on the bed motionless and had my eyes open. It looked as if I had a panic attack or something of that sort. It was as if my soul left my body, it was the most beautiful thing I ever felt.

* * *

The sun was blaring and yet the air was cool. The day would be a complicated one, Sango thought. She made her way into diner and found Miroku holding back Kaede as she yelled at the white haired guy who was named Inuyasha.

* * *

"INUYASHA!! I told you not to do anything irreparable and you still did it anyway. Why don't you listen? Don't you realize this could mess her up for good? We could really lose her entirely. She barely looked at me and now she won't even come out of her room. I can't make her come out." She stopped as she sobbed into Miroku's shoulder. Inuyasha was seated in a chair in front of Kaede, his hands covering his face as he took the blows Kaede threw at him.   
  
"Woman, it's been three days. Enough with your screaming. She's taking it too serious. Go yell at her." Inuyasha fought back. Miroku smacked his head at his comment. "No, Inuyasha. Not a good time to protect your dignity."  
  
"It's okay, Kaede. Come on sit down." Miroku said as he tried calming the shaken woman  
  
Sano looked at the group confused, trying to figure what they were talking about.   
  
"NO. No, it'll never be okay again. She's gone. She's gone." She yelled as she hysterically pulled away from Miroku's grasp.   
  
"What's going on here?" Sango asked as she ran to Kaede.  
  
"Sango. Is she okay? How is she?" She asked as she freed herself from Miroku's hands.  
  
"She was in her bedroom. She hasn't come out yet. What happened? Kaede, what happened that has her locked up in her room?" Sango asked afraid as she gripped Kaede's shoulders.  
  
"It was Inuyasha. He told her things and she ran away. She didn't stay for her shift because genius scared her away." She sobbed.  
  
" I just told her what you two have been telling her." Inuyasha clarified as he stood.  
  
"What did you do to her? What did you say?" Sango interrogated as she tried to jump on Inuyasha but Miroku held her back. "She won't come out. She's isolating herself…" Sango trailed off as she pictured the worst.   
  
"Feh, that's enough. She's taking this way too seriously." With that said he stormed to the back of the diner, found what he wanted and stomped out of the eatery.   
  
Miroku held on to Sango and Kaede as they continued to sob.   
  
"Wait a minute. What did he say? What did he get?" Sango asked as they all tried to interpret what he did. "NO!" They all screamed and ran after him. "INUYASHA, NO." Miroku screamed as he ran as fast as he could. "Which way did he go?" He panted as he searched for any sign of his angered friend.  
  
"My apartment is this way." Sango said as she led the way.

* * *

"The Shikon Mori apartments. Here it is." Inuyasha said as he read the address card. He looked up at the white brick luxurious apartments and snickered. "She can't hide from me." He climbed up the stairs.

* * *

"Inuyasha!!!" Sango screamed as she ran up the stairs, followed by Miroku. They ran into the elevator and zoomed up to the 3rd floor. "You're friend better not have done anything," she said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Hey, I'm not responsible for his actions. Kill him if you must, milady." He said as he raised his hands, indicating peace. As the elevator doors opened, Sango ran out and found Inuyasha banging on their door. "OPEN UP, KAGOME." He yelled.  
  
"Hey!! Stop." Sango demanded as she pushed him out of the way.  
  
"Open the door or I'll break it down." H ordered.   
  
"You better open the door, Sango. He will break it down." Miroku said as he sighed.  
  
"He'll just have to go through me first." She said through clenched teeth as she fiercely stared at Inuyasha's fired eyes.   
  
"Don't tease me." He shot back as he looked down on her.  
  
"Okay, that's enough. We are adults and we can handle this maturely. Sango open the door, you can't win." Miroku clarified.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU SIDE WITH HIM. YOU IDIOT." As they argued, Inuyasha picked the lock and swung the door open in success.  
  
He walked in, leaving the two arguing and searched for Kagome.   
  
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? ANSWER ME." She demanded. Miroku stared past her and pointed. She turned following his finger. "Wha…" She said dumbfounded as she saw the door wide open and Inuyasha standing in front of Kagome's room.  
  
"KAGOME. I'm asking nicely. Open the door." He knocked hard.  
  
"NO!! GO AWAY." Sango shrieked as she ran to him, pulling Miroku along with her.   
  
Inuyasha saw Sango running to him and kicked the door open, finding Kagome wrapped in her covers, her back towards the door. He walked up to her and noticed her state. He picked up the motionless body and carried her to the bathroom. He carefully placed her inside the tub. He closed the door and locked it as Sango ran to him, causing her to stopped otherwise she would have crashed into the door. He then went to Kagome and turned on the cold water, making it fall full blast on her limp body.  
  
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH." I screamed as I felt the icy water fall on me. I looked for a way out but was blinded temporarily as my hair was plastered on my face.   
  
The scream caused Sango to bang on the door harder. "OPEN UP OR I'LL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR." She yelled frantically.  
  
Inuyasha kneeled on his knees so he could be eye leveled with the girl. He smiled at the sight that was played in front of him. He noticed that even though her face was covered with her tangled hair, she was still beautiful. He moved the hair away from her face and searched for her eyes.   
  
My eyes opened wide as I saw the perpetrator. "You!!!" I spat out as I tried to stand up but slipped. I gasped as I fell, I fell so fast that it felt like someone pushed the fast forward button. I waited for the fall for a few minutes gave up on waiting. As I opened my eyes, I was 5 inches away from the marbled tub. The thing that stopped me from hitting my head was Inuyasha's hands on my shoulders. I looked at him, his eyes more likely. He stared into mine, captivating me by his golden orbs. We both finally blinked as Sango's bangs started again.  
  
"Get up you klutz." He grunted as he put me on my feet.  
  
"I would've never slipped if you hadn't put me here in the first place. Which leads me to a hundred more questions. What are you doing? What is your problem? How did you find me here? Why'd you put me in here? What's so funny?" I climbed out of the tub unsteadily but he pushed me back in. "HEY. Let me go." He gripped my wrist tighter indicating he wasn't going to let me out.  
  
"No. You and I will get to know each other better."   
  
"What? Didn't think you finished the job 3 days ago?" I spat venomously. He sneered as he turned on the cold water again.  
  
"OKAY. OKAY. TURN IT OFF." I shrieked, causing my voice to break. He turned it off as he laughed. I glared at him, anger boiling inside me.   
  
"That a girl. Go on, sit. We're going to be in here for awhile." I slowly sat, keeping my eyes on him. His hands moved to my arms, making sure I wouldn't slip. I slapped his hand away and sat as far away from him as I could, my eyes still fired.   
  
He grinned as I stared from a distance, he crossed his arms and placed them on the edge of the tub. His smile faded as I made my eyes expressionless.   
  
"No, no, don't you do that. Snap out of it. I'll turn it on." He threatened. I looked up at him and just bore my eyes into his.   
  
"Why do you do this? Want to tell me what happened?" He asked gently.   
  
"I can't remember." I whispered as I looked down.  
  
"That's bull and you know it. Maybe if you just talk about it you'll feel better…"  
  
"FEEL BETTER? Feel better by remembering? Remembering as I watched my father get slaughtered and my mother get shot in the head? Wanna hear that? HUH?" I yelled with all my might as I stood up, staring down at him. "Guess what? Wanna know the funny part? I don't even know what happened to my brother. He could be alive for all I know. Or maybe the worst thing, he was probably tortured until he finally died." I felt the tears sting my eyes and the pain flow in my body. I fought and fought hard to block it, finally succeeding. I hardened my heart and my cold exterior stepped in. "And wanna know the best part? I don't feel any sorrow what so ever. I feel no pain. Don't you feel stupid now? Thought you could save me from my pain. Guess again, because you just lost." I said as I stepped out of the tub and pushed him with every word. I smirked as I saw his eyes widened. "What? Didn't expect this? Thought I'd cry in your shoulder?" I laughed and opened the door. I walked past Sango and some other guy. Something wasn't right, I didn't feel right. I felt disconnected from my body and everything started to blur.  
  
"Kagome? WHAT DID YOU DO?" Sango screamed. I continued to walk away from the group and headed to my room but I started to feel light headed. My barrier was caving down and caving down fast. The emotions were attacking me all at once. I experienced all sorts of sharp pains and it was too much to take. All the voices were muted and everything went black.  
  
"Hey, I was close to breaking her." Inuyasha said.  
  
"She needs help. You idiot. You're not he…" Sango was cut off as Inuyasha pushed her out the way.  
  
"KAGOME." Inuyasha ran to Kagome as her body fell to the ground.

* * *

Well, hopefull you liked it. Tried to make it long enough. Actually, i didn't try i just write. Anyway don't forget to review. review. (fading) review. 


	4. Just a sweet nightmare

* * *

Here is the next chapter. I thank all those who reviewed. You all made me so happy. Tears in eyes. I won't keep you any longer. Read and review. See you after the story.  
  
Dsiclaimer: I own nothing. WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME?

* * *

_I opened my eyes and found myself in a garden filled with all types of colorful flowers and vines. The scene was so beautiful that it glowed with magnificence . It took my breath away just to feel the cool breeze gently caress my face. It was as if I was in an imaginary world, a place that can never exist. A place where no pain existed, a place where you don't know the meaning of losing someone. I wasn't sure if I was standing or sitting, my eyes just captured the scenery like a camera or something. I was immediately torn from my thoughts as I heard something, a voice I was never to hear again. "Kagome. You can't catch me." The eerie voice flew around me with the wind. I spun around, desperately searching for the owner who owned that voice. I heard laughter and I spun towards it and I saw a little boy running in front of me. I recognized the little boy fast, so fast that my heart stopped beating. "Souta?" I whispered. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My little brother was right in front of me that if I reached for him, he'd be in my arms. "Souta?" This time I yelled, wanting him to come to me. "Come on sis, come catch me." He laughed as he ran to the center of the garden and hid behind the flower bushes. His laughter was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. His smile lit his eyes, he was filled with so much life. I felt a smile spread across my face, I needed to get to him, to reunite. He came back to me, I can feel his presence. I ran to him at a slow pace, not being able to go any faster. I tried with all my heart and strength to go faster. "Souta, come to me. Don't run. Souta." I called for him as I tried to keep going. I finally came closer to the center and I heard him again, only this time it woke my fears. The once beautiful bright place turned dark and gray. The flowers were dead and the vines were filled with thorns. Dark clouds covered the white glowing sky. I was now in a place where being lost hit me most.  
"Kagome, find me. I can't see you. Find me Kagome, I'm scared. I'm in the dark, I can't see you. Help me." His voice was distant and filled with fright. "I'm coming Souta. I'm coming. Where are you? Tell me where you are." I cried as I searched for him. I was going around in circles, I couldn't get to him.. "HELP ME!! FIND ME. TELL THEM TO LEAVE ME ALONE. KAGOME, I NEED YOU. FIND ME, I'M SCARED. . I CAN'T SEE, help me. Kagome. They won't leave me alone. They're hurting me." He cried hysterically, his voice disappearing quickly.  
"Oh my god. Oh god…I can't find you. GET AWAY FROM HIM. I don't know where you are. Tell me where you are. Souta. I'll save you. " I called as tears poured down my face. I couldn't hear him anymore, I turned every direction and tried to see any signs of him. "SOUTA? Answer me Souta. SOUTA. NO!!! NO,I WON'T LOSE HIM AGAIN. DO YOU HEAR ME? I WON'T LOSE HIM AGAIN. SOUTA?" I fell to my knees and sobbed uncontrollably. "NOOOOO!!!!" I screamed. It echoed and at the end, flashes flooded my head. As the images played in my head, I heard us singing Ring Around the Roses, holding hands going around in circles at a fast pace.  
  
Ring around the roses _

_Souta and I pillow fighting and playing hide and go seek_

_Pocket full of poses  
Me hiding my brother in a secret hiding place "Kagome, don't leave me alone. I'm scared." He begged as he hugged his bear._

_Ashes, ashes  
"I'm not. I need to help mom and dad. I'll be back for you. I promise." _

_Ashes, ashes  
"Take care of your brother Kag, we'll be watching you. We'll be there for you. We love you both." I held her head in my lap as her breaths became short. Her eyes rolled back and she let go. She was set free from her pain and left me alone to deal with mine._

_We all fall down We let go and fall to the ground. As we fell, the images hit me full force that my head started to spin from the impact._

_We all fall down (fading)_

_Mom shot, Dad tortured _

_We all fall down (fading)_

_Me crying hysterically, Souta's silence _

_We all fall down (fading)_

_Me screaming_

"AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" I quickly sat up and landing in someone's arms, hugging me tightly.  
"It was just a dream. It's okay. You're awake. I'm here." I recognized him, it was Inuyasha. He rocked me back and forth to calm me but I continued to cry hysterically. I couldn't stop, Souta's voice still echoed in my head. I called for him as I cried. "Souta. No, Souta. Souta, no." The pain was too much, I couldn't take it. I wanted it to end already. I couldn't run from it, I was cornered, I was trapped. It hurt so much that screaming didn't help. Inuyasha rubbed my back and held me tightly so I wouldn't escape. The comfort helped me fight back until I fell exhaustedly into my trance once again, where no such images or pain exist.

* * *

Inuyasha sighed as he laid the shaken girl gently on the bed. She was in a lot more trouble than he thought. He walked out of the room but gave one last worried glance at the unmoving form. He walked to the kitchen where Sango and Miroku were. "How can such pain exist?" Sango asked as she looked down at her cup.  
"I'm not sure. I don't know. I mean, lots of people lose their loved ones and they get over it in time but in her case, it's making it worse. I don't understand." Miroku sighed as he thought of every step of the book to use in this situation.  
"It's because she's holding on to something. She starts to forget then lets herself get sucked back in subconsciously. She's holding on to her past." Inuyasha clarified as he leaned on the wall.  
"I don't think so. Why would she want to hold on to pain?" Miroku asked as he turned to look at the newcomer.  
"Because she can't go on without knowing if her brother is alive or not." Inuyasha answered knowingly. Sango dropped her cup and stared at him.  
"How do you know about Souta?" She questioned as tears formed in her eyes.  
"She had a brother?" Miroku asked confused. "No one said she had a brother." "Exactly. How do you know that?" Sango asked as she walked towards Inuyasha.  
"She told me in the restroom. You knew him?" He asked.  
"Knew him? That little boy was special, he didn't deserve what happened to him." She yelled as tears spilled from her face.  
"What happened to him?" Miroku asked.  
"I had dreams about him. He would come in my dreams crying. I could still hear him. 'Sango, tell Kagome to find me. She can't hear me. Tell her to find me.' He was scared. I couldn't tell Kagome about that. She was having dreams of her own. How could I tell her her missing brother came into my dreams asking me to tell her to find him. No one knew where he was, if he was dead or alive. That little boy was saved from seeing what happened to his parents but he was captured and no one can save him, not even his sister." She slowly fell to her knees and sobbed into her hands. Miroku got out of his seat and hugged her.  
"Looks like she hears him now. He walked into her dreams. Sister and brother reunite." Inuyasha said as he walked to the table beside Miroku and Sango.  
"What makes you say that?" Miroku wondered as he sat Sango on her chair.  
"I was going to the restroom when I heard her whimpering. She was calling for him, she even smiled a little. I walked towards her and sat on her bed, she screamed and sat up. She was hysterical, I couldn't calm her down. She had to put herself into those trances in order to get away from it. She scared me when she sat up." He explained and a little blush formed on his cheek as he remembered that when she sat up, she landed in his arms. He wasn't going to tell them that. They didn't need to know that minor detail.  
"She was? He finally reached her. " Sango said.  
"He's not in peace. He wants justice for his…mind." Miroku stopped his thoughts as he realized what he was about say.  
"You can say it. He's dead. No one found him." Sango whispered.  
"Try telling her that. She's not going to let go unless she sees it for herself." Inuyasha said as he poured himself a cup of coffee.  
"Indeed. She is stubborn." Miroku realized.  
"Yeah, she is. She won't say anything about her past. She freaks out when I looked through photo albums. She won't come near me." Sango chuckled softly at the memories.  
"She runs away physically but mentally it comes back to haunt her. Poor Kaede, she suffers just as much. Well, maybe not that much." Miroku heaved a sigh.  
"Kaede missed Mrs. Higurashi. She always says she lost a sister, brother in law, nephew and a niece. I lost my best friend too, she was the only person I knew who could be in touch with their feelings. She was so real, so alive. I wish you could have met her. She really took you away from your problems." "I'm sure she was wonderful." Miroku smiled warmly at her. "You're wonderful too." He smirked.  
"Don't try that on me now when I'm off guard." Sango sniffed and scooted away.  
"Actually that's the best time to charm you." He smiled as he got closer.  
"Oh geez, Miroku flirt on your own time. We have to go home, it's 1:30 in the morning." He said as he yawned.  
"Actually, I was hoping if you two stayed. You can help me with Kag with Miroku being a psychiatrist and all." Sango suggested hopefully.  
"He's not a psychiatrist." Inuyasha corrected.  
"Shut up. Of course we'll stay. The lady asked for us to stay and we ARE going to stay." Miroku smiled as he had stars in his eyes.  
"Don't get too excited. You're sleeping in the guest room." Sango corrected. "Where am I sleeping?" Inuyasha asked as he rolled his eyes at the pair and let out a exasperated sigh.  
"Well, we have one guest room. So either you two share the bed or one of you takes the couch." Sango said as she hid a laugh .  
"I'll take the couch." Inuyasha said quickly. The thought of sleeping with Miroku sickened him.  
"Oh Inuyasha, we can share a bed. It'll be fun." Miroku joked. Inuyasha punched his shoulder and walked away from the monk while saying profanities.  
"On second thought, I'd love for you to join me your royal cuteness." He said as he kissed Sango's hand.  
"I wouldn't sleep with you if my life depended on it. Don't touch me." She glared as she snatched her hand away.  
"Oh Sango, how you hurt me so." He said as he plastered a hurt expression.  
"Go to sleep." She ordered as she walked out the kitchen.  
"She is not like any of the other girls I met. Yep, she likes me." He smirked as he walked to the guest room, humming happily.

* * *

Inuyasha stood by the doorway of Kagome's room. Yeah okay so he lied. He wasn't on his way to the restroom like he told Miroku. He was standing in the same spot he is now, staring at the sleeping beauty. Thinking about what she said and how she said it. She was right, how can anyone get over that kind of tragedy. She saw her parents get killed right in front of her. Actually, she was doing well. Usually the kids would literally go crazy or kill themselves. It would drive them to suicide. He was glad she wasn't capable of such actions. She was strong and she wouldn't give in to such an ending. He was so sure of it, but the more he convince himself the more he worried. She wouldn't, right? He leaned against the wall and watched her sleep. It hurt him to see her like this. It seemed even in her sleep, she still battles. The question he rather not answer is, for how long will she survive the war? He walked to the chair beside her bed and sat, not once taking his eyes off her. Another thing struck his mind, could Souta still be alive? Can she feel him? He gently grabbed her hand as it hung off the bed and held it in his. What is she dreaming about this time? 'I can probably save her awake, but while she sleeps…that's a different story.' He thought as he leaned against the chair and noticed that his body was sore and tired. By the time he knew it, sleep embraced him.

* * *

_In her sleep  
  
The fog engulfed me and blinded me. I couldn't see where I was going. I was desperate and searching, searching for what.  
I couldn't see a thing, I stretched my arms out as far as possible to find my way back. Back where? Where am I? I get it. I was seeing myself. I was watching me. What am I doing over there? The other me started to panic and cry.  
"I will find you Kagome. You can't hide from me. I will get you." "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!." I screamed._  
  
I opened my eyes and noticed it was still dark. I sat up as I began to think about the dream. What did that mean? Who was that? Looks like my dreams know a lot more than I do. What did that have to do with anything? Stupid dreams. I don't have time for them. But where was I? Was that a memory? I was instantly torn from my thoughts as I heard movement behind me. I quickly turned around and saw someone sitting in the chair. I squinted to see who it was…and noticed it was Inuyasha. He was still sound asleep. The morning light began to fill the dark room. The light spread across his face, enlightening it. He was beautiful. His hair was beautiful in the morning light and so was his face. He looked so peaceful. How is that? When people go to sleep, they look so innocent but awake they're horrible. I couldn't take my eyes away from him. He even glowed with the light. He was perfect. What was he doing here? He didn't need to be here. What is up with him? He slowly opened his eyes and stared right at me. I let out a surprised shriek as his eyes looked directly into mine. I even lost my balance as I realized how close I got to him and began to fall off the bed. He sat up quickly and caught me.  
"What a klutz." he said hoarsely as he suppressed a smile. "What were you doing?" He asked as he arched an eyebrow. He didn't help me up, he was still holding me in the same position he caught me. (hopefully you know what I'm saying)  
"Mind helping me up?" I asked sarcastically as I intentionally ignored his question. Well, I wasn't going to tell him I was staring at him sleep.  
"No, wrong answer." He imitated a buzzard noise and let go but quickly caught me again. "HEY!!! I almost hit the floor. What are you trying to do? Kill me?" I shrieked as I hung onto him.  
He laughed at me, at the scene that he played a role in. "Now, why would I want to do that? All I want you to do is answer my question. Now, what were you doing?" He smirked, knowing the answer no doubt. He just wanted me to say it but I'd rather go through a tornado before I admit something to this arrogant jerk.  
"It was dark, the sunlight recently shone the room. I thought I saw something scary but realized it was just your face." He sneered and let go but retrieved me again. "Oops, sorry. My hand slipped." "That brings me to question. What were you doing in my room? I don't recall asking you to sleep here? Care to answer me that?" I smirked. He scoffed and let me go as he got up. Thankfully, I wasn't that far from the floor. "HEY!!!!!!! No fair, I answered your question." I said as I got up.  
"Feh, you should know by now I'm not a fair person." He said as he walked out the door.  
"Idiot. Ugh, who does he think he is?" "Your worst nightmare." He said as he sneaked up behind me and threw a pillow at me. "Make up your bed. It's a mess in here." As soon as he turned around, I mocked him. "Make your bed. I'm stupid. Look at me I have white hair." I mocked his voice and played with my hair.  
"Oh shut up." He said as he pushed me, causing me to fall on the bed. I got up and opened my mouth to say something but he already left. "Jerk."

* * *

Inuyasha leaned on the wall by her room. "Was that the real Kagome? Is she changing? I never saw that side of her. She is wonderful. She's beautiful." He quickly shook his head at the thought. "What am I thinking? That can never happen. I don 't even know her. She's a stranger." The more he said it, the more it went out the other ear. She's not a stranger anymore, he practically knew her whole life already. They talk to each other like old friends. 'Yeah, we're not strangers anymore.' He thought as he smiled and walked to the living room.

* * *

The phone rang and Sango answered. 

#Hello?" Hey Sango, it's Ayumi.#  
"Ayumi! Hey, how's it going?" Sango asked as she held a big smile.  
#It's great. I called to see if Kagome changed.#

Sango's smile slowly faded. Not because her friend called for Kagome but because she was about to give her bad news.  
"Well, um…what can I say? We're working on it." She answered as she let out a nervous chuckle.  
#I see. Sango, I was wondering if I can stop by. I'm in the neighborhood.#  
Sango shifted a little not exactly sure. "Well, sure. Why not? It might do her some good to see old friends."

#Thanks Sango. You're the best. Ill be over at 7:00. See you then#

"Of course. We'll be waiting. Bye." She hung up the phone and took a deep breath. All she could think about was how Kagome was going to take it. She walked to her room.

"Kagome?" "Oh, hi Sango." "I just wanted to tell you that Ayumi is coming over. Wouldn't you like to see her?"

"Ayumi? Coming over? Wow, it's been so long since we last seen her. Yeah, I'd like to see her." I answered as I shrugged my shoulders.

"Really? Oh that's great. I was so worried." She said as she sighed in relief.  
I walked to her. "Sango, don't worry so much. You're going to get heart problems."

"Oh well, I just… I don't know. I worry about you. You're my friend." "I know but you don't have to. You have a life of your own. Live it." I said as I hugged her. As we pulled away she gave me a look.  
"I know. I'll follow my advise one of these days. I'm not ready now."

"There's a change in you. I can feel it." Sango gasped as she smiled.  
"Really? I don't feel it. Well, I'm going to take a shower." I walked away from her, not wanting to turn back.

Sango's smile faded fast as the mood turned cold, the all familiar feeling. She walked out of the room and sighed. 'There's no way she's changing. I'm looking for it, so I see it. She's still the same.'

* * *

7:00  
  
There was a knock at exactly 4:00 o' clock. Miroku opened the door and smiled mischievously. "Hello milady. Please come in." He moved aside to let the guest in. As soon as she walked in, Miroku moved toward her.  
"Not so fast, monk. Please excuse him. He is an idiot. How are you?" 

"That hurt Sango." Miroku said sadly.

"Oh Sango, it's been awhile." Ayumi said as they hugged.

"So is this your boyfriend?" Ayumi asked as they pulled away.

"Why yes. How did you know?"

"NO, HE WISH." Sango and Miroku said in unison.

"Okay, good luck with that one." She said confused.

* * *

"Kagome, you're friend's here." Inuyasha said as he knocked on her door. I opened the door a crack and looked around, making sure she was nowhere around. 

"Tell her I'm sick or I went to the store. Tell her I'll see her later."

"What? You said you wanted to see her." He asked mystified.

"I lied. No go, don't tell her I'm here or I'll hurt you." I said as I narrowed my eyes and began to close the door.

"I don't think so. You are going to see your friend if you want to or not." He said as he stopped the door with his foot.

"Are you threatening me?" I asked.

"No, I'm promising you. Get out or I'll smoke you out. Your choice." He grinned at me. I glowered at him as I opened the door, not taking my eyes off of him.

"That a girl. Now, go." He said as he moved aside for me to pass. I walked out of the room slowly and held my angered glare.

"Move it." He ordered as he pushed me.  
"Okay, I'm going." I walked into the living room and saw my old friend. I plastered a fake smile and said a almost real hi.  
"Kagome, how are you?" She said as she came to hug me.

'Not good.' "Great, and you?" I lied with the rather huge, fake smile.  
"Excellent. Listen, why don't you take a seat. I want to talk to you."

"Why, of course." I stood my place but was moved by Inuyasha. He pushed me on the sofa and stood by me, making sure I wouldn't escape.  
"Well, who is this handsome gentlemen?" Ayumi smiled as she stared wide eyed at Inuyasha. "Oh him, he's just an ignorant, irritating jerk." I answered with the same smile on my face. He hit my shoulder and introduced himself. "Hi, my name is Inuyasha. I'm her babysitter." He grinned and smiled down at my angered face.  
"Really? Call me when you're off duty." She flirted. I rolled my eyes at the scene and snorted.  
"Oh, is he already taken, Kagome? Because that can change." She smirked as she stared at me.  
"What is it that you need to talk to Kagome about?" Sango said as she saw that I opened my mouth.  
"Oh of course. About that, I came to talk to you about your behavior."

"My behavior. What? Am I in daycare or something? Did I steal the other kid's toys? Because I swear, he stole my candy." I smiled as everyone laughed but Ayumi.  
"I see you still have your sense of humor. I'm talking about how you make Kaede cry and Sango worried. When will it pass?" The smile on my face disappeared as a smug look took place on Ayumi's face.  
"I…don't know what you're talking about."

"About your past. Tell me what you feel."

"I feel nothing. Am I suppose to feel something?"

"I'm serious. Snap out of it. Quit keeping it locked inside. What do you feel about your childhood?"

"Ayumi, I don't think…" Sango defended but was interrupted by Ayumi.  
"I need Kagome to answer."

"I feel nothing. My parents' death, I feel nothing. Is that what you want to hear?"

"You make them suffer." Ayumi said as she pointed to Sango and the others.

I kept my eyes on her and my face expressionless. "That's not my fault. I wouldn't know how suffering feels like if I don't know how to feel."

"Cut the crap. You are making everyone suffer. How can you be so selfish? You are not the Kagome I know. Where's Kagome?" Ayumi yelled and banged on the coffee table.  
"She's dead and she's not coming back. Live with it. I have." I said coolly.  
"Why are you being like this? It's been 13 years . Get over it." Ayumi said as if it was easy.  
"Who do you think you are? You come here and tell me what to feel? Are you kidding me? This is a joke. You come here and tell me to get over it? You come to lecture me?"

"That's not what this is about. Maybe if you just stop sulking, stop wanting to get the center of attention, stop with the games. It's getting old Kag, it's childish." Ayumi said as she looked exasperated.  
"Center of attention? You are the one that wants attention. I mean that's why you became a stripper."

"Kagome!" Sango gasped and as did Ayumi. She sneered and gave me a look, a look that read I get the last word. "I…didn't mean to say that." I whispered as I covered my mouth. I began to walk towards the door.  
"I may be a stripper but at least I have a family. At least I have my brother."

I stopped dead in my tracks. She went too far, she knew how much my family meant to me. I felt the blood boil inside me. I slowly turned around, I walked up to her and punched her so hard that she flipped over the couch and landed on the floor. Inuyasha grabbed me and held me back. Sango and Miroku stood in there place, shocked. "Don't you ever, ever say something like that to me again. I should finish you off right here." I said poisonously as I tried to get loose from his grip.  
"You think that'll bring your parents back to life. Guess what, it's not. THEY'RE DEAD." She shouted as she cupped her now swollen cheek. I wanted to hurt her so badly. How can she say something like that? "Let me go." I struggled more but he wouldn't budge. Instead of me ripping at her, Sango jumped in. "Don't you EVER say anything like that again." She punched her a couple of times but was stopped by Miroku. "MIROKU PUT ME DOWN. I dare you to say something like that again. SAY IT!!!" She growled.  
"You better go." Inuyasha said as he tried to restrain me.  
"You are an idiot Higurashi. A loser, you will never mount to anything."

"Oh like how you mounted a career? Tell me, did you have to give your virginity to some stranger who paid you lower than minimum wage?" I sneered. She walked out the door and slammed it with full force that it knocked some of the picture frames down from the wall.  
"Let me go." I demanded.  
"Only if you calm down." I stopped struggling and he let go. I spun around and slapped him full force across the face. (wish granted fantasy-seal. Hopefully, it's kinda what you wanted.)

"You took her side. She said those things about my family and you let her go." He looked at me shocked and cupped his cheek. "You think beating her up was going to make you feel better?" "You sound just like her." I whispered as I looked at him. Tears started to spill from my face. I walked to the door but he grabbed my wrist.

"Kagome…" He said. I glared at him and yanked my hand away. I ran out of the apartment. How could he do that? I thought…I don't know what I thought. He was suppose to be on my side. I ran out the doors of the apartment and into the wet night. The rain cleaned the street, the leaves, the world. Why not mine? I ran to who knows where. All I knew was that this was beginning to be my hobby, running away from what I can't win.

* * *

"Inuyasha let her go. She needs to let out some steam. Inuyasha!" Miroku said to Inuyasha but was ignored as he left.  
"Miroku, how could she say something like that? No wonder Kagome is the way she is. She has the worse friends ever. Do I tell her things like that?" She whispered as she slid to the floor and out of Miroku's grip. He sat next to her and smiled warmly at her.  
"No, you take care of her. Don't blame yourself for what she said. You'd never say something like that." 

"Thanks Miroku. You're not so bad after all." She said as she sniffed.  
"I'm a monk." He grinned and …rub, rub…..SLAP!  
"Okay, I take that back." She said as she got up and left Miroku massaging his cheek.

* * *

"Kagome, hold on. Would you stop running?" Inuyasha sped after Kagome, there was no way she could out run him. "Go away!!!" I screamed as I ran across the street as the stoplights turned green.  
"ARE YOU NUTS? KAGOME." He stopped and waited for the street to clear then took off after her.  
I ran faster as I saw him coming closer. I started to get tired really fast and I couldn't run any faster.  
He caught up to me and picked me up from the ground. My legs were swinging and I struggled to get lose.  
"Let me go." "Kagome listen, please." He let go and I stumbled a few steps back and looked at him.  
"Listen. Listen to what? Do you have something to add to what Ayumi said?" 

"Just that you need to learn to accept what you feel and tell me what you feel. I want to help you."

"Help me? I don't need your help. Why does everyone want to help? Why don't they just leave me alone? I moved here so people can LEAVE ME ALONE. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?" I screamed into the dark night, to the sky.  
"Look, the world is filled with rage and sorrow, hate and love; it's the circle of life. You have to learn how to deal with it. Stop blocking yourself from the world. Stop it. You are not really protecting yourself, you're killing yourself. You are not the only one who suffered." Inuyasha clarified as he paced around me.  
"I know that but I'm the only one who does something about it. I mean look at me. Not a carefree in the world. I don't feel a thing. If Kaede dies, I won't feel nothing. If Sango dies, nothing. I froze my heart and I will keep it that way. I figured why feel pain when I can feel nothing at all." I said as I stated the obvious.  
"You are human. You're supposed to feel horrible. You know what you're being? You're being cold hearted."

"Comes back to the 'I froze my heart' phrase." I said as I laughed a little.  
"How can you be so cruel? I know you're coming back. I know the real Kagome is coming to life because I met her and I fell for her." He said as he stopped pacing and stood in front of me.  
"NO, Inuyasha . You're mistaken because the real Kagome is dead. I buried her and she's not coming back." I yelled at him while keeping my eyes on his golden ones.  
The next thing that happened, happened so fast. Inuyasha walked toward me and pulled me closer to him, sealing our lips together.

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There. Finally, I have a cliff hanger. Hopefully it left you in suspense. That is a long chapter. I am so glad I am finished with this one. So what do you think? Please let me know. Review, I love it when you all review. Show me if you hate this story or love it, even if you don't care about it. Review. Thanks. Bye, till next chapter and I tell you now, it will be good. Evil laughter. 


	5. The game of Life

Hey fans! I thank you guys so much for your wonderful review. You don't know how happy you made me. Okay, I looked to see how long my other chapters were and they were long. They looked boring. You poor people, it looks very boring with the paragraphs together and all the words…ugh. Anyway, this chapter is shorter and more intriguing. Well, for me it was. I loved writing this chapter. Hopefully you enjoy it as much as I did. Okay well, see you after the story. Enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything yet but I'll let you know when I do.

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He pulled away slowly, still inches away, his hands on my cheeks, and his forehead leaning on mine. He looked down and didn't look at me. I stared at him confused. I felt his warmth course through where he touched me and everywhere else I felt cold. He pulled away and looked at me, at my reaction. I couldn't say anything, I lost my voice. I just stared at him, at his now hurt eyes. He turned away from me as if disappointed that I didn't appreciate him kissing me. His voice broke the awkward silence.  
"I…I'm sorry. I didn't know how else to shut you up."

"…"

"Well say something." He said as he turned back to face me but still avoided eye contact.  
"I..m confused. What am I suppose to feel exactly?" I asked. I sounded stupid; it was like a child asking the same question. He then looked at me and snorted.

"Why am I wasting my time with you?" He said as he let out an exasperated laugh.  
That hurt. That ran deep into me.

"I know. I ask you that everyday. What are you doing here, huh? What do you want from me?" I yelled.  
"Didn't you feel anything? Didn't…didn't you feel at least something when I kissed you?" He asked as he walked towards me.  
I stared at him, and searched inside of me. Did I? I searched deep but couldn't, I got frustrated and stopped. This was ridiculous. "Well, excuse me for being numb. I told you and you know I feel nothing. How many times am I going to have to tell you that?" I shot back.  
He narrowed his eyes at me and fehed. "Yeah, but you're like that by choice. You can stop feeling numb now."

"How. Am. I. Suppose. To. Feel?" I asked calmly. He glared at me with irritation.  
"It's your own damn fault you can't feel. It's like you're not even alive. I mean, GOD Kagome, how can you not know?" He said infuriated and walked closer to me.  
Tears ran down my face and rage took over my body from his words.

"WELL THEN TELL ME HOW I'M SUPPOSE TO FEEL. SHOW ME." I screamed with all my might that my body trembled. "HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO FEEL?" I yelled as I pounded him over and over. He stood there, trying to hold my hands.  
"I'm broken. I CAN'T FEEL BECAUSE I'M BROKEN."I cried and collapse into his arms. He held me tightly and kissed my forehead. We both fell on our knees because of the impact of the explosion. I used all my energy, I felt weak that I fell limply against him. I cried into his chest while he held me in his arms, telling me to calm down.

"I can't. I can't." I managed to say through my sobs. For once in my life, I felt secured. I felt…was this what it feels like to feel alive? Did I even mount to that step yet? Did Inuyasha really want to help me? Was I putting my guard down? Should I risk dying slowly again? I moved away from his embrace and it took a lot out of me not to go back into his warmth. I didn't dare met his eyes as I stood up with the little energy I could muster.

"What? What is it?" He asked worriedly as he too stood.  
"I have to go." I whispered and turned away.  
"What?" He said as anger awakening inside of his voice.  
"I can't…I have to go."

"Damn it Kagome. What the hell? Look, would you turn around and look at me?"

"No."

"What?"

"I said no."

"Why not?"

"Because then I will willingly let my guard down and I'll be screwed again."

"Kagome, I want to help you. WOULD YOU PLEASE LET ME IN?" He yelled as anger and sadness filled his beautiful golden eyes. I turned to look at him, at his eyes. This was hurting him, I was hurting him. As I started to feel the pain inside me, my shield rose to my side.  
"I don't want your help, I don't need it. You need help. You think you can get by life by accepting your feelings? Newsflash, you can't. It's rather useless to admit to them, it only shows your weaknesses." His eyes reflected pain and I remembered why. He just told me he fell for me. This wasn't me. I would never say anything to hurt other people. NEVER. Now, it became my favorite hobby. Who am I becoming? Have I lost myself entirely? "I'm sorry." I whispered and walked away from him. I couldn't stay there for another minute. I was just tearing him apart and he didn't deserve that. I walked to the place, to the person who could help me. I looked up at the dark apartment and made my way in.

* * *

"Naraku? Are you here?" I shouted as I knocked on his door. The door opened and revealed a 6 foot tall man with waist-length black shiny hair and black-reddish eyes. "Kagome, here so soon?" He stepped aside and waved me in.  
"Naraku, I need your help. I don't know what to do. I'm lost." I said as I sat on his couch.  
"Dear Kagome, tell me what's bothering you." He said as he stood behind me and took my hair out of my face.  
"It's Inuyasha. He…he's…I think he's bringing me back. The way I feel about him…I've never felt this way before." I explained as a tear fell from my eye.  
"I think he's playing with you. It's better if you stay away from him. He could be dangerous." He whispered into my ear. More tears fell from my eyes and confusion hit me. "But…he kissed me. He told me he fell for me. I believe him. I believe he really wants to help me." I said almost confidently.  
"No Kagome. You're so naïve. They don't want to help you. Kaede, Sango, and Inuyasha are just like them, the ones who killed your parents. They don't care about you." 

"My parents? They do care."

"No, they are liars and that's why we must stay away from them. They laugh at your misery."

"No." Anger and sadness swept through me. Is he right? I didn't know what to think anymore. I'm so lost.  
"Yes, Kagome. They take pleasure in seeing you suffer." He said as he leaned on my shoulder and whispered in my ear. I stared in front of me as tears rolled off my face.

"Oh, don't cry. Here, take this pill, it'll take the pain away. I promise." He said as he walked in front of me and handed me the red pill. I looked at him and reached for it. I slowly placed it in my mouth and swallowed it, my eyes never leaving his. As I swallowed I swear I saw them sparkle.  
"Let me see. Open your mouth." I opened my mouth and he searched for the pill and smiled at me as he found none.  
"Good girl. Now, don't you start forgetting your past. You have to remember every little detail. Don't get all mushy on me." He said as he tapped my nose. "Another thing, keep away from that Inuyasha, he's messing with my plans and I can't have him do that. Now, remember what you have to do. Don't forget and keep away from him."

"But I want to forget." I whispered.  
"No, that's not what I said. Now you're being disobedient. I'll have to tell you everything that happened so you won't forget."

"No please, I'm sorry. I won't forget." I begged.  
"No, I have to teach you a lesson. Don't…look at me, look." He said as he grabbed my face, making sure my eyes remained on his.  
"Don't forget how your father was brutally murdered. Don't forget how your mother begged for her life and yet she was shot in the head. Don't forget 6 year old Kagome saw as her lifeless body fell on the hardwood cold floor. Her silent eyes staring into yours and don't you dare forget the eyes of the intruder. He looked into the eyes of a helpless little girl, into the eyes of a weak child. Time for you to go. No one knows our secret friendship right? You haven't told anyone about me, now have you?" He said as he placed his hand on my throat. I swallowed and looked into his eyes expressionlessly. I shook my head and he slowly took his hand off me. "That's a good girl. Remember, don't tell anyone about me." He led me to the door and I nodded my head. I walked out and he closed the door behind me. I was still confused, felt no pain though. I was just there, mind nowhere. I just couldn't figure out anything, I was numb. Maybe it's the pill. I walked, not really knowing where I was going. I just thought about everything he said. Not to forget. How could I?

_"Don't forget the eyes of the murderer. Don't forget how your parents died."_

Then I felt it. I felt the pain hit me full force. I needed to get home.

* * *

I staggered into the dark empty apartment, tears running down my face. Flash after flash, memory after memory bombarded my mind. I couldn't run away from it. No matter how hard I tried to get into my trances I couldn't. I couldn't get away. I was losing control and I needed to escape fast. I couldn't take it anymore, it was tearing me apart. I couldn't see straight, I was blinded from all the pain. I needed it to end fast. I'd do anything to make it go away. Make it go away. I don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm losing control. I'm on the edge of sanity, at this point I didn't care. I'll do anything to get away and I'll look for the answer. I ran to my room and searched in my coat closet. I grabbed all the shoe boxes and knocked several down. I frantically opened all the boxes and dumped out all the contents. Papers and accessories scattered the clean carpeted floor. I cried out as I couldn't find it. I screamed with fury as I trashed everything. I suddenly stopped as my hand touched it. I sniffed and closed my eyes. I wrapped my hand around the answer to all my problems. I sat down on the bed, Indian style. I ran my trembling hand over the smooth, cold metal. The pistol shaking in my hands, I checked how many bullets were left…one. 

"Kagome! What are you doing?" I looked up to see the person who called out my name. Inuyasha stood at my doorway, wide eyed. I could see him stiffen at the scene. I smiled at his ignorance and rubbed the cold metal over my cheek.

"Oh Inuyasha, what does it look like I'm doing?" I answered coldly, soulless even. I was way past the line of sanity, I did lose it.  
"Kagome, don't. Please listen to me. Don't do this." He begged as tears filled his eyes.

"What for? You don't care for me. It was all too much, I can't stand it anymore and I shouldn't have to." I answered calmly as if nothing was happening.  
"What the hell? I didn't think you would do this. You're being weak. Quit running from your problems. I thought you were different." He roared, his eyes fired with mixed emotions. I narrowed my eyes at him. "I got an idea. Let's play Russian Roulette." I said as I spun the bullet holder (I know nothing about guns, sorry so I don't know what they're called or what type of gun Kag has. So sorry.) and pushed it back in. "I go first." I put the gun to my head and closed my eyes. Before I closed my eyes, I looked into his. Something inside of me told me to stop but I quickly shrugged it away and smiled.  
"1..." I said as I began countdown.  
"Kagome, don't do this." He begged.  
"2..." I said as I let out a giggle.  
"Put the gun down. I'm begging you."

"3."

"NOOO!!!" I pulled the trigger.

"Dear god. You're not…not…Kagome. DAMMIT KAGOME." He yelled as he took deep breaths and leaned against the wall, still facing me. I opened my eyes and laughed.  
"WOW!!!! Intense. Very intense."

"Enough is enough! Give me the damn gun Kagome." He growled

"No I don't want to and that's not how you play." I pouted and stared angrily at him.  
"Kagome please, give me the gun."

"Now it's your turn." I said as I pointed the gun at him. He took a step back and his eyes widened. As I looked into his eyes, I saw his soul. He was in so much pain, I could see it. His eyes were filled with sadness and fear. I heard an inside voice telling me to stop but I couldn't. I wasn't in control anymore.  
"1..." I said as I arched an eyebrow at him. He took a step forward and reached out for me, tears began to fall from his face, from his beautiful golden eyes.

"Kagome, I'll help you. Please let me help you. I know this isn't you. I'll get to the bottom of this, I promise."

"You don't know me, and you can't help me. He said so. 2..."

"I don't care if you shoot me; I want you to know…"

"Sorry, your time is up. 3."

"I love you." As those words left his mouth, I pulled the trigger.

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Well? What do you think? And in case you are wondering what's going on, all I can tell you is that the tale is unfolding. You will be shocked…hopefully. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. I really need to know. I'm begging you. Review. Review.


	6. Stay Alive! Or just give up?

Here is the 6th chapter. Kind of...not my favorite. Hopefully, you find it to your liking because that counts and if you don't go ahead and tell me. Just be nice about it, please. Anywho, I just hope you like it. Please review.  
  
Diclaimer: I own nothing.

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**Stay Alive! Or why not just give up?**  
  
Sango placed the phone down and let out a sigh. "What's wrong?" Miroku asked worried as he entered the kitchen and placed a harmless hand on her shoulder. Sango prepared for the lecher to try something but was surprised as he did nothing.  
"It's Kaede, she's pre-occupied. She needs me to take over tonight, she can't think straight. I have to go help her." She explained as she grabbed her coat. Miroku grabbed her wrist and grinned. "I'll help you." He grabbed his coat as well and opened the door for her. Sango narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously, waiting for the expected but was welcomed by the unexpected: he kept his hands to himself. A smile made it's way across her face, reaching her brown eyes. "Thanks. I'll need your help." She walked out of the door and Miroku followed. Silence made it's way to the empty apartment but was soon disturbed by loud noises.  
SLAP "YOU LECHER. KEEP YOUR GROPING HANDS TO YOURSELF." 

"Yep, she wants me." He grinned as he caressed the now swollen cheek.

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Inuyasha stared after the girl that captured his heart. Why did he feel this way? He just meet her; but for some reason, he felt like he needed to help this girl, to protect her. What just happened? One moment, they were shouting, the next he kissed her and then stared at her retreating form in the dark. "Kagome, why won't you let me help you?" Maybe she didn't believe him when he said he cared for her. Anyway, it's too late. I've done everything I could think of. I even let my guard down and fell for her and for what? She wouldn't even let hers down, not even for a second. "Feh, see if I care. Who cares what that wench does? I sure don't." He put his hands in his pockets and made his mind. "I'm leaving. I've done what I was supposed to do. Kaede can't get made at me. Feh, who cares if she does. I'll just tell Miroku I'm gone." he walked to the direction of the apartment. 'She might be there. I'll say goodbye and wish her good luck.' He sighed as his heart didn't quite agree with his decision. "I can't stay with her knowing how I feel and for her not to feel the same way. This is the only way. I'll go talk to Kaede first and tell her about my departure." He turned the other direction towards the diner.

* * *

"Hey old hag, I'm outta here." He said gruffly as he walked to the backroom. Kaede quickly walked out of the dark room with wide, teary eyes. "Inuyasha, what? I don't understand." 

"I'm leaving. I lost. I couldn't change her and I'm sorry."

"Don't go. We can work together. It'll work this time, I assure you…You don't have to go."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I failed and I'm sorry I can't stay, but you have to understand that I have to go." He walked towards the door but was stopped by Kaede's last words.  
"You fell for the child, didn't you?" He closed his eyes and turned around, but didn't look at her in the eyes.  
"That gives us a better chance to wake her up. Don't you see how this can make her change?" She said hopeful, but sounded too good to be true, pathetic even.  
"I can't do that." He said as he shook his head.  
"Yes, you can. Yes you can."

"You can't just play with my emotions like that Kaede, I can't do that." He said cuttingly.  
"I know. I know and I'm sorry for suggesting it." She said sadly as she sat down on the booth. Inuyasha kneeled down and smiled a little while grabbing her hand. "I know how much you care for her and you know how much I care, but I can't stay here and eat myself waiting for her…" Kaede snatched her hand and got out of the booth. "You care nothing for Kagome, how dare you think about your feelings. Why can't you sacrifice yourself for her like we all did?" She yelled, eyes filled with angry tears.  
"Lot good that did you. She's still running around lost and look, you sacrificed everything for her and nothing." He yelled as he banged on the table and stood up. "You don't think it hurts me seeing her like this? Well, it does. It hurts for me to say that I'm giving up on her, it's killing me slowly; but I can't do anything about it. I love her and she won't let me in. Like you said before, I can't force her to do anything and for that I'm leaving. I've tried everything and it all brought more pain. Tell me what to do and I'll stay. TELL ME WHAT TO DO DAMMIT. I need to know what else I can do." He shouted but it ended in a whispering sob. Kaede looked down and didn't meet his gaze which meant that she didn't have the answer to his problem. If she did, Kagome would be the happiest person right now. He turned around and walked out the door, leaving Kaede stare sadly after him.

* * *

"I can't deal with this anymore. Miroku better not be there when I get my clothes. I can't bear to face anyone right now. 'It's time for me to go. They can handle the rest.' He walked to his destination and looked up at the apartment, looked at Kagome's apartment. The room was dark meaning no one was home, not even Kagome. He sighed, then walked through the marble doors, leading to his last visit there.

* * *

"Hey Miroku, you here?" He said as he closed the door behind him. He let out a breath of relief and searched for the light switch. He was about to turn on the light but stopped suddenly as he heard noises coming from one of the rooms. He walked slowly and listened carefully as he made his way to the sound. As he got closer, the noise stopped and it was coming from Kagome's room. He walked in and the thing he saw made his heart stop beating. Kagome was sitting on her bed, caressing the gun as if it was her savior. Her eyes looked at it longingly; the sight was terrifying and sad. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were puffy from all the tears she shed, her cheeks were stained from it. She didn't look like Kagome, she looked…like a broken angel. She looked so lost and…insane even. The scene crushed Inuyasha's heart to even glance at his broken Kagome. She needed help, she needed help fast. 

"Kagome, what are you doing?" He said eyes wide open, fear filled within. 'What is she doing? Why is she doing this? Kagome, please don't do what I think you're going to do?'

"Oh Inuyasha, what does it look like I'm doing?" She answered coldly and smirked. She rubbed the gun on her cheek and her eyes laughed at him as he held his breath. As he looked into her eyes, he saw that she was gone, her eyes were filled with emptiness…for the time being hopefully.  
"Kagome, don't. Please listen to me. Don't do this." He begged as tears filled his eyes. 'Don't do it.'

"What for? You don't care for me. It was all too much, I can't stand it anymore and I shouldn't have to." She answered indifferently as she spun the gun carelessly around her finger. He closed his eyes and wished this wasn't happening. How can she be like this? How is she being like this? Did she really lose herself? Was Kagome Higurashi no more? He felt his temper rising at her cowardly escape. She wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't the type to commit suicide. He said so.  
"What the hell? I didn't think you would do this. You're being weak. Quit running from your problems. I thought you were different." He roared, his eyes fired with mixed emotions. She narrowed her eyes at him and something flickered in the depths of darkness. Is she snapping out of it?  
"I got an idea. Let's play Russian Roulette." She said as she spun the bullet holder and pushed it back in. Inuyasha's eyes widened as he remembered the way the game was played. 'She wouldn't.'

"I go first." She smiled as she put the gun to her head. She looked straight at him as if daring him to stop her. Her eyes laughed at the pain he was feeling. It was killing him inside and she knew it.  
"1..." She said. Inuyasha couldn't believe what was happening. 'She wouldn't.' But his thoughts were stopped as she grinned daringly. 'Yes, yes she would.'

"Kagome, don't do this." He begged.

"2..." She said as she let out a giggle. 'She really lost it.'

"Put the gun down. I'm begging you."

"3."

"NOOO!!!" He yelled as he closed his eyes with his hands. He let out a sob as he heard the click. He took a deep breath when he heard her panting with excitement; he removed his hands from his face and placed it on his chest to just at least try to slow his heart down from beating 100 miles per hour.  
"Dear god! You're not…not…Kagome. DAMMIT KAGOME." He yelled as he took deep breaths and leaned against the wall, still facing her. She opened her eyes and laughed.  
"WOW!!!! Intense. Very intense." He stared at her disbelievingly. 'She's just there laughing like a child. Does she even know what she's doing? Does she know that one false move and she's dead?' He has to stop this and now before she kills herself.  
"Enough is enough! Give me the damn gun Kagome." He growled at her.

"No I don't want to and that's not how you play." She pouted and stared angrily at him.  
"Kagome please, give me the gun." He asked nicely, trying to win her over. 'She needs to snap out of it.' He began to walk towards her, hoping beyond hope she'll give him the gun.  
"Now it's your turn." She said as she pointed the gun at him. He took a step back and his eyes widened. 'She's not serious. She can't be. She's really playing the game.'

"1..." She said as she arched an eyebrow at him. He took a step forward and reached out for her, tears began to fall from his face. 'God Kagome, do you really find this entertaining? Seeing me hurt for you? You actually pointed the gun to the stranger who gave you his heart. I don't care, I'll help her out of this…even if she kills me.'

"Kagome, I'll help you. Please let me help you. I know this isn't you. I'll get to the bottom of this, I promise you."

"You don't know me, and you can't help me. He said so. 2..." She said as she aimed straight at my head. 'I better tell her before she kills me, that way she'll know someone did care.'

"I don't care if you shoot me; I want you to know…"

"Sorry, your time is up. 3."

"I love you." He closed his eyes and stood in place, welcoming his fate. He squeezed his eyes shut as he heard the click.

"Inuyasha!" He snapped his eyes open and looked at the shaken girl. 'She snapped out of it.'

* * *

As the gum clicked, it felt as if I came back from a dream, from a nightmare. I looked at the gun I held in my hand. I whimpered as I quickly dropped it as if it was hot burning coal. I looked up at the person in front of me, his eyes were closed with tears still escaping from them. 'What am I doing? Was I trying to kill him?' 

"Inuyasha!" I said in a sob as I tried to reach for him, but as I began to lift myself from the bed, I couldn't. My body went numb from the realization. He ran to me as I struggled to move.  
"I can't stand up. I CAN'T MOVE." I yelled.  
"Calm down, you're having an anxiety attack."

"Inuyasha, I could've killed you."

"Forget it, just calm down. Kagome, KAGOME." My head started to spin and I could see Inuyasha's mouth moving but nothing was coming out, not one sound. I tried to keep my eyes open but I was overcome by darkness.

* * *

I began to hear distant voices and I felt like I was gliding or something. Was I in a car? Why are we moving so fast? I slowly opened my eyes and was briefly blinded by bright lights. I tried to focus and noticed 3 unfamiliar people moving my bed…bed? Where was I? I was laying down on a bed, a bed on wheels. Where are they taking me? I tried to pick up my head to try to see where I was but was soon lowered by a hand. "It's okay Kagome, calm down." He grabbed my hand and gently smiled. "We'll find out what's wrong, I promise. Just relax." I nodded and closed my eyes. As we passed by some office, I heard the receptionist say "Tokyo Medical Hospital, how may I help you?" I was at a hospital, maybe they can fix me. As hope started to form, I fell into a deep slumber. 'Maybe they can fix me.'

* * *

Inuyasha paced around the empty waiting room impatiently. He growled out of frustration as he cursed out the nurses who didn't let him stay with Kagome. 

_"I'm sorry sir, but you are not a family member. You cannot come in, those are the rules." The nurse said as she began to walk away.  
"But I love her, doesn't that count? Hey, HEY!!!! DAMMIT!!!" He roared at the retreating form of the apathetic nurse._

He sat down on a chair and moved more than 5 different angles in less than 2 minutes. He quickly stood up as he saw his friends approaching.  
"Sorry, we came as fast as we could. How is she? Is she okay? What's wrong with her? Inuyasha ANSWER ME!!" Sango yelled as she grabbed Inuyasha's collar.  
"Would you give me a chance to talk? Jeez." He released himself from her grip and sat down. "I don't know. They won't tell me and they won't let me see her either. All this waiting is driving me insane." He said through clenched teeth as he looked down at his hands.  
"We must wait. They will tell us when they find the problem. We have to be patient. Remember, patience is a virtue." Miroku said calmly.  
"You know what Miroku, right now I just don't give a damn." Inuyasha said exasperatedly. "What do you mean they won't let you in? Maybe they'll let me in. I'll go ask." Sango said as she walked to the front desk. Miroku placed a hand on his aggravated friend and smiled gently. "She'll be fine, you'll see. Everything will be fine. Calm down."

"How can I calm down when I know she's in the emergency room? What if we lose her?"

"It won't be your fault and that is not an option. Kagome is too stubborn, there is no way she will surrender to death's welcoming arms." He said as assured.  
"That's what I'm worried about. Right now, she's capable of giving up and I can't be there to snap some sense into her." Inuyasha said as he gave a defeated sigh. Miroku looked at him confusedly and was about to ask him what gave him that conclusion but was interrupted by Sango's outrage.  
"They won't let me in either. I can't believe this. We're practically family."

"Why didn't Kaede come? She'll be able to get in." Inuyasha said hopeful. Sango shook her head.  
"I didn't tell her. That woman has been through too much and she might finally die worrying about this. I can't do that to her. She can't know."

"But what if she dies? What are you going to tell her then, huh? Hey Kaede, Kag finally moved on to a better life." Inuyasha spat angrily at her.  
"What do you want me to do? I can't put Kaede through more trouble and you know it. If she finds out, her heart might just fail."

"Uh guys…" Miroku said.  
"Keep out." "NOT NOW MIROKU." They both shouted and continued yelling at each other.  
"Guys, the doctor is heading our way." Miroku said as he pointed to the middle-aged man. Inuyasha and Sango ran up to him.  
"What's wrong? Is she okay?" They both managed to ask at the same time. The doctor smiled gently and looked at his clipboard.

"Well, she's recovering magnificently, very impressive for her condition…"

"What do you mean 'her condition'?" Sango interrupted as she bit her bottom lip out of worry.  
"What's wrong?" Inuyasha practically yelled at the doctor.

"Exactly how bad is she? What's wrong with her?" Miroku asked calmly.  
"Well, we did some tests on her and her system was filled with a type of drug…"

"WHAT?" Inuyasha yelled.  
"She doesn't do drugs, she doesn't even take anti-depressants." Sango explained.  
"What kind of drug?"

"A delusion drug. The drug serves a purpose, it takes a recent traumatic memory and plays over again in the mind. In Kagome's case, it got to the point where she couldn't tell if it was really happening or not. Would she stay in bed for numerous days?"

"Yes, she locked herself in her room once for the longest time when she was 16. She stayed in there for a 2 weeks." Sango whispered.  
"Why did she faint?" Inuyasha spoke shakily.  
"She fainted because her brain was controlling many things at once and also because it lost control of more important things. What I'm trying to say is that the time before she fainted, she was given a heavier dosage that made her memories attack her mind all at once. I've noticed that she puts herself through trances to escape it so while it was attacking her mind she tried to get into one of her trances. She ordered her brain to do complicated things at once. The drug was so powerful that it also managed to make her think it was happening again. She was under a lot of stress and experienced brief insanity. It caused her nerves to numb and the dosage was too much for her, she couldn't take it."

"Oh god, she could have died. Is that what your saying? She could have died?" Inuyasha said fearfully. Sango buried her face in her hands and cried. Miroku hugged her and told her to calm down.  
"Yes. Kagome would have died if she didn't come out of her insanity state. All the things happening could have caused her heart to race…then to stop." Sango sobbed more into Miroku's chest as she heard the words she never wanted to hear: her friend on the edge of death. Inuyasha sat down and tried to get all the information he just heard. He couldn't believe it. He was right. She was going to die. If he left right then and there, Kagome would be dead right now.

"Don't worry, she is in good hands. We've done what we needed to do, now it's up to her to recover." He said as he excused his leave.  
'Will she want to recover?' Inuyasha thought as he fell onto the couch.

* * *

Where am I? It's that dream again. There I am. What am I running from…or who?  
A heavy panting and whimpering me ran through the fog.  
"No, he…he can't…catch me. H…help….SOMBODY HELP ME!" She yelled as she ran to nowhere, called for no one.  
"Kaaaaggggoooommmeee. No one can hear you, no one can help you." A devilish laugh was heard.  
That voice, that horrible slithering voice. Who is that and what does it what from me? "Stop! Leave me alone." She yelled as she fell to her knees and cried out hysterically.  
Then all of a sudden, everything started to spin and the scenery changed. I was myself this time. I was running again, this time through woods and from archers. They were coming closer , I could hear them.  
"FIND THE GIRL. You can't run girlie. I can hear you breath, I can smell your fear." He whispered in a deadly laugh.  
"No, why do you want me?" I cried as I tried to run faster.  
"What are you running from Kagome? Aren't you tired of running? Stop running, it's time." Was that Sango? Sango's voice echoed through my ears and her voice soon changed from good to evil.  
"You are so pathetic. You are such a child." She laughed. Sango? What is going on? Why is she being like this?  
"Yeah Kagome, no one cares for you so why don't you just stop struggling?" Miroku said in a irritated tone. I don't understand. They said they were going to help me. How could they say that?  
"Kagome, I love you…" Inuyasha! He'll help me, I know he will. 

"Inuyasha, help me. They're trying to kill me."

"You didn't let me finish. I love making and seeing you suffer. You are worthless, do everyone a favor and die already. We're all tired of your 'Oh I can't feel anything, I'm broken.' Stop running, the arrows are coming." He laughed menacingly. 'Inuyasha? Why? I thought…they're right. Why am I still struggling? So they can be laughing in the shadows as I drown in misery? I should just give up. It's over, I should have surrendered a long time ago. It would have saved me and Kaede pain. Game over.'

"THERE SHE IS." The archers yelled.

"AIM…FIRE!!!" I stopped running and turned around just in time to see more that a thousands arrows coming straight at me. (I got this from Hero. I don't own it.) I closed my teary eyes and stood in place; I gasped as I felt it.

* * *

Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku sat in complete stiff silence; they all stared at the checkered floor, all in deep thought. The thing that caught their attention was a panting nurse who said the words no one expected.  
"Quick, page the doctor! Higurashi stopped breathing!"

* * *

* * *

* * *

Well? How was it? This chapter may suck but don't worry, it's just an intro to where the most of the main plot starts to unravel. Things will be explained in the next chapters, it will all be sorted in different chaps. I don't want to out the whole main idea in one chappie. Believe me, you're gonna want to know what happened at the Higurashi shrine. Please review.


	7. Lost in Darkness

Hello, so sorry for the wait. I've been so busy with school, friends, life basically. This chapter is not good, I tried to make it better. Hopefully you enjoy it. Don't worry, I'm starting the next chapter and Inuyasha will be putting things together. You'll see how it all came about. The story is slowly unfolding and you will be surprised…hopefully. Anywho, on with the story and please excuse this chapter. I quickly wrote this for kj-kagome. I won't leave you hanging anymore. Please excuse this chapter kj, the next one will be better. I promise. On with the story. 

I don't own anything.

* * *

**Lost in darkness.**

* * *

"Quick, page the doctor! Higurashi stopped breathing!" She ordered the receptionist. Inuyasha quickly stood up and ran to the nurse. 

"She what?" He asked gruffly, afraid of the answer, as he grabbed her wrist. "Her heart stopped. The heart monitor…it's a straight line." She said as she out a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You have to come; she might come back if she hears your voice." She said as she pulled him to E.R. He shook away the forming tears and quickly followed the nurse. He couldn't lose Kagome, he needed to see if Kagome would come back…back to him.   
"Quick! We must hurry. "She yelled as she slammed open Kagome's door.

* * *

(Inu's p.o.v) 

The second he stepped into the room his heart stopped. The moment he saw the limp form of a lifeless girl, made him want to collapse. He saw a pale, lifeless look-alike Kagome. She wasn't breathing, her chest was still and her eyes were closed; she looked asleep, she was on the edge of death and she welcomed it with both arms. Tears ran down his face as the monitor remained a straight line. 'Why? Why are you giving up?' He heard the moving and orders of the doctors silently behind him. He slowly made his way to her and looked down at her pallid figure. She bore a blank expression on her face, and he wanted to break down then and there.   
"Ready? CLEAR." The doctor yelled as he placed the things (sorry don't know what they are called. If you know, tell me and I'll fix it.) Her body lifted and yet she still remained motionless.

"Talk to her. She might hear you." The nurse yelled. 'What's the point? She's so stubborn, she won't listen. That idiot. I'll make you come back, even if it kills me.'

"CLEAR. Again. CLEAR." Nothing. "She's leaving us doctor." The nurse yelled. Inuyasha heard loud crying and turned to the door to see a hysterical Sango crying out to Kagome. Miroku tried to hold her back with great difficulty as she struggled harder and harder to come in.

 "Kagome, please listen to me. Come back. Don't leave us Kagome, don't leave me. Don't…don't…" He was unable to continue as the pain started to travel through him. "Kagome. KAGOME YOU IDIOT, WAKE UP!!!!!!!"

* * *

I looked around the dark place I was in. 'Where am I? Am I…dead? Is it over? I feel no pain. I feel no pain. I am dead. The others can move on now. They can live their lives like they are supposed to. They have nothing to worry about now; they will no longer feel pain. I can move on now. I can finally reunite with my family. I can see them again, and Souta, he'll be fine. He won't feel pain anymore. I must find them; they must be waiting for me. I ran into more darkness and saddened when I couldn't find my way out. "What's going on? Where are they? MOM? DAD? SOUTA? WHERE ARE YOU?" I looked around and was alone…alone in the darkness. Alone in the darkness. Maybe Souta, mom and dad is too They can't find each other, they're all alone. I must help them. I ran again to nowhere and only saw darkness. I couldn't see anything, not a living soul. I continued to run frantically and finally stopped; I fell on my knees and cried. "All I see is darkness. Am I lost in my own nightmare? My heart is already plagued with darkness, why must I confront it? Where is everyone? Must I suffer here too? Then what was the point of dying? Can someone explain it to me because I obviously missed it!" I yelled to no one. I stood up and trembled with the anger and sadness that boiled inside me. "Where is my family? I'm supposed to be with them. Why must you keep tearing us apart? ANSWER ME. WHO KILLED MY PARENTS? WHY US? WHY? NOW THAT I FINALLY GAVE UP, I STILL CAN'T BE WITH THEM?" I screamed with all my might that I fell on my knees again. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I caught one. I looked at it and saddened. "I feel the pain rise in me again. Is there no escape? I thought death was the answer. Is it only to keep reminding you your most blood screaming memories? Then that means...my brother will never escape from torture. He will remember how it feels and live it again for eternity. My mother sees her husband get brutally murdered and the gun ending her life. I don't get it. Why? What are the reasons for being alive and for being dead? What are you supposed to do? Were we just cursed? 

"Kagome." I suddenly looked up and searched for the caller. "Kagome, you promised you would look for me. Why are you leaving me?"

"Souta? Souta is that you?" I yelled as I quickly stood up and waited to see where it was coming from. His voice echoed, where the hell would he be? He was crying, his voice still shook from his cries.   
"You lied. You said you were going to protect me. Why did you leave me to suffer? There you are free and I'm here living in hell." He yelled angrily. His words strung me hard. No, no it's not true.   
"No Souta, no. I've never stopped thinking of you. I don't know where you are, if you're dead or alive. Tell me where you are." I cried.   
"Wake up Kagome. Wake up. Don't leave me here alone."

"Wake up? I…I can't. I can't stand the pain…I'm sorry. I'm sorry your sister is a coward. I can't." I cried.   
"Kagome, come and help me. Wake up."

"I want to die. I can't stand it anymore. I can see them. In my sleep, when I dream…every time I close my eyes. I can see the murderer's eyes, that evil glint in his eyes. I can see mother's lifeless eyes staring into mine. That smile plastered on her face to calm me down, blood slowly coming out of her mouth. I see it all and I can hear Him. What am I suppose to do?" I said, forcing every word out and holding back the hysterics.

_Kagome. Kagome. Kagome, please listen to me. Come back. Don't leave us Kagome, don't leave me. Don't…don't…   
_I heard distant shouts, someone calling my name. I turned to where they were coming from.

"Help me. I need your help." His voice started to become faint.   
"Souta, no. Don't go. Tell me where you are."

_Kagome. Come back. Don't die on me_   
"Who are you? Where are you?" As I listened closely, I recognized the voice. Inuyasha. He's calling out to me? He's crying for me.

 _Kagome. KAGOME YOU IDIOT, WAKE UP!!!!!!!_

I'm coming. I'll save you Souta. If you are dead, I'll make sure you rest in peace. I will save you. I'm coming Inuyasha.

* * *

"She's not coming back. She's gone, we lost her." The doctor sighed. Inuyasha broke down at the words; the only sound that filled the room was his cries and the monitor's straight line. One of the nurses placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and led him out of the room. As she opened the door, he saw Miroku hugging a crying Sango on the floor. The sight made him cry more and he leaned on the wall for support. "No, no, no, no. NO. Kagome no." He glanced back at her lifeless form and slid down the wall to the ground.   
"She promised…she promised me we were going to stick together forever. No. We're family. She's my family. She lied to me." Sango said angrily.

 "She wasn't strong enough. She's in peace now, she can be happy." Miroku whispered to her.   
"No, no. I want her here. I didn't even tell her she was the best friend I ever had. I only kept bickering how much pain she gave us. It's my entire fault. No wonder she didn't want to come back." Inuyasha sat on the cold floor and buried his face in his hands. He banged his head on the wall every once in awhile, still trying to block out the realization of Kagome no longer being there.

 The door swung open and the nurse yelled, "SHE CAME BACK. SHE'S COMING BACK."

Inuyasha quickly stood up and ran inside…ran to where she lay. He looked up to the monitor and the lines were no longer straight. She was coming back. He grabbed her hand and whispered. "Yes, come back. Please, come back."

"This is very rare, they never come back. We can't keep our hopes up but we will do what we can" One of the male nurses told Inuyasha.   
"That's not enough dammit. I need you to do your very best." he spat.

"Like I said we'll do what we can." 'Kagome, I need to feel your presence. Don't give up now.' He thought as he grabbed her hand and closed his eyes.

"QUICK! We can still bring her back. She's fighting right now. Come on people, let's help her." The doctor ordered. Still no progress; it's like she's stuck.

Inuyasha studied her ghostly face, she looked like she was finally resting. Her face wasn't scrunched up in fear or anger. No cries of pain escaped her lips. She looked peaceful. Was he keeping her from being free? Should he just let her sleep? His pale sleeping beauty, she cried for salvation and now she has it. It would be wrong to bring her back from happiness.

"I don't think you should keep your hopes up; she may not make it through. Maybe you should go outside." The nurse told Inuyasha.

"Let me ask you something; what…what are the chances of her…coming back?" He asked shakily. The nurse smiled warmly and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

 "The only thing I can tell you is when the time comes, it's better to let go; time will heal." Inuyasha let a tear roll down his face as he heard that he was going to lose Kagome. All this hoping and dealing with her death was becoming too much for him. Was she really trying to come back or was she doing this on purpose? Was she laughing as he raised his hopes up each time the nurse screamed 'She's coming back! She's coming back'?

 Anger, sadness and pain filled his every nerve. He clenched his fists and turned his back to her. "The suffering stops here. No more."

 "Inuyasha!" Inuyasha fell on his knees as he heard her voice.

* * *

Thank you so much and I won't ask you to review because i agree, it sucked. Forgive me. I haven't written in a while. I really really thank you for reading this and hopefully you like the next chappie. See you next time. 


	8. Chapter 8

Hey readers. It's been awhile huh? Yeah. I want to apologize to my readers. I'm sorry I left you guys hanging. I said i wasn't going to let you guys wait for another chapter and that's the first thing i did. I just had to cut Inuyasha out of my life for awhile. Yea shocking i know. I was really becoming obsessed. I went into a break down and stuff. It got really bad. I had to call it quits. He was just leading me on and I had to realise he's not real. It's wasn't pretty. But i'm back. I want to finish this story. I have to finish what i started right? And i would like to thank the readers that have been waiting for this story. kj-kagome. I thank you for recently reviewing my story. It inspired me more to get this chapter out. Well i'll leave this rest of the speech for after the chapter. I'll let you guys get on it. Enjoy. I know it's short but give me some time. I just need to get the ball rolling again. This chapter is kinda rough so please bear with me. I'm just getting into the game again. Well ON WITH THE STORY. I miss saying that. 

Disclaimer: Own nothing. Learned that the hard way.

* * *

**Who is He?**

* * *

"You can go home now Sango. You've been here all night. GO get some sleep; I'll make sure she doesn't go anywhere." Inuyasha smiled as he patted the sleepy Sango on her shoulder.  
"Are you sure? I don't mind staying a little longer." She said with a long yawn, making her eyes water. Inuyasha suppressed his laughter and shook his head.

"Miroku, would you take her home and please don't try anything. It's too late to be fighting with you"  
"Thanks Inuyasha, now I know how you really feel about me. Come on Lady Sango. I'll take you home."

He said gently as he tenderly grabbed her arm and led her to the sliding hospital doors. Inuyasha stared at his friends and smiled. It surprised him how fast they became friends. It was rather unusual to make friends that fast because it was hard for him to get close to anyone. Now, he made friends and fell in love in less than a week. He sighed as he heard a slap echoing from the other side of the waiting room doors and headed back to his Kagome. He let out a sigh of relief as he remembered how she came back. She called his name when he had already lost his hope. It's was perfect timing, he was about to walk away from everything. He felt lost and hopeless, he felt like thousands of swords slowly cut through him at different times. What he was feeling, no human being should go through that pain. He could only imagine Kagome's pain. The pain she feels is 10 times worse that every day; he couldn't handle the feeling for 5 minutes. Inuyasha's feet stopped without him giving the command. He looked up and realized he was already standing in front of Kagome's door. He gave a little smile and walked in.

The beeping of the monitor filled the dimly lit silent room. Kagome was asleep; she looked exactly the same when she was slipping away. He gently closed the door and sat on the seat next to her bed. He couldn't stop staring at her. It was as if if he blinked, she would disappear. He would never turn his back on her again, no matter what the cause. He did it once and he swore he would never do it again. If he almost lost her when he turned around, what would happen if he even blinked? No, he decided no matter how bad it gets, he will stick by her side. The worse is probably over, he thought. The gun incident was probably the worse. Oh how he could remember that day so well. He imagined the worse and luckily no one got shot. Poor Kagome. The way she was looking at that gun…like if it was her only escape…her savior…scared him to death. She looked so lost, so…broken. The way she was talking and…what was she saying?

**(_Flashback)_**

_"Kagome, I'll help you. Please let me help you. I know this isn't you. I'll get to the bottom of this, I promise you"  
"You don't know me, and you can't help me. He said so. 2"  
**(End of Flashback)**_

'Why didn't she let me help her? Wait. What did she mean by 'He said so'? Who was she talking about and who's been giving her those pills? Whoever he was, he would have to stop him from hurting Kagome further and find out why he's doing the things he's doing. What has he been telling her? Is Kagome playing us? Is she taking those pills voluntarily? What's really going on here?'

He was immediately interrupted by his thoughts as his name was softly whispered. He looked up and found Kagome tiredly smiling at him. "What are you doing here so late?"

"I'm spending the night here. How are you? Are you okay?"

"Yea, I think so. I just have a huge headache. What? Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked with a small laugh.

"I thought I lost you. I thought…you really gave us a scare, Kagome." He said sadly.

I looked down at my hands and smiled sadly. "You almost did. I did give up. I….thought death was the answer but then….as I was there, no longer existing…..I could still feel pain. I was still torn apart from my family. I thought I was going to be reunited with them. Then I heard him again. He yelled at me for giving up on him." I said as a tear fell down my eyes.

"Who Souta?" He asked gently. I looked at him, for some reason, hearing him saying Souta's name, gave me comfort. It gave me security. I …couldn't explain it. I nodded my head slowly not once taking my eyes from his. He looked down at his hands and looked deep in thought. He looked uncertain for a brief second then shook his head. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Kagome, what kind of pills have you been taking?"

"Pills? I haven't been taking any……"I stopped in mid-sentence as I remembered. "What does that have to do with anything? I don't take any pills." I said unconvincingly.

"Don't lie to me. In your system, their was a type of drug running through your blood. What was it and why are you taking it?"

"What are you talking about? I don't..."

"Kagome, I'm asking you nicely. If you don't answer me, I'll call the doctor in here so he can personally tell you. Now what is it and where or whom did you get it from?" He asked sternly, not once taking his eyes off mine.

"Inuyasha what does that have to do with any..."

"What does it have to do with anything? Are you seriously asking that? The pill you are currently taking is called a Delusion drug. Now will you please tell me why after all this time trying to fight your memories, you're taking pills to help you relive it again? Because right now, I don't know what to believe and I need an explanation so I won't think the worst." He said as he stood up from his chair and stood in front of my bed. His eyes still on mine.

I looked down, surprised of what was happening. Explanation? Delusion drug? What is he talking about? I…I haven't taken any….I don't even know where to get those. What is he talking about?

"Inuyasha, believe me, why would I take that? I do want to forget my past. I'm not taking any delusions pills. I really don't have any idea what you're talking..."  
"Kagome…" he warned.

"The only pills I've taken are pills to take away pain. That's it. I promise."

"Where have you been getting them?" He pressed on.

"From a friend." As the words left my mouth, I closed my eyes and felt as if the air left my lungs. I told my secret. I told. Naraku is going to kill me. He told me not to tell. He's going to hurt me. I broke my promise.

"What friend? What's his name?" I looked at him shocked. "How did you... "  
"You said it was a him. Now what is his name?" He interrupted harshly.  
"When did I tell you that? I don't remember telling... "  
"You weren't in a right state. You were experiencing brief insanity and you told me 'He said no one could help you'. Now, what is his name?" He said exasperatedly.  
"Experiencing brief insanity? What are you talking abo..."  
"STOP AVOIDING THE QUESTION AND ANSWER ME DAMMIT!" He said severely as he banged on the bed rail.  
"…i can't tell you that." I gently whispered. "I want to go to sleep." I said as I avoided his gaze.

"Kagome let me help you. Why can't you tell me? Did he threaten you? Did that bastard threaten you?" He asked worriedly as he kneeled beside me and caressed my face.

"I will protect you. From him and from anyone else who tries to hurt you, do you hear? I will always protect you. I won't let him even put a finger on you. I swear." He said as he embraced me.

He held me in his arms protectively as if the person who wanted to hurt me was in the room. Delusion pills? Is that what I've been taking? I don't understand. Naraku, what's going on? My mind was too tired to interpret the reasons or the questions, I quickly drifted to sleep.

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A young slim woman withwaist length black hair knocked on a door and waited patiently.The door was opened a feet."Back so soon Kag….oh it's you. My, my, my, I haven't been expecting you." He said with a dark smile.

"Hello to you too." She said and squeezed through the space that was left unblocked.

"I don't recall inviting you in." He sneered as he slammed the door. The young woman laughed graciously while turning to the man behind her.

"Why Nara, if I didn't know any better I'd say you don't want me here." She smiled mockingly at him. In a swift movement he grabbed her arms harshly and slammed her against the wall. She let out a gasp and looked into his angered eyes.

"I told you NEVER to call me that." She looked as she was frightened but then started to laugh cynically.

"What's wrong? You don't like your nickname?" She asked innocently with a cynical smile.

"Don't play with me." He let go off her and walked to the mini bar. "What brings you here? I thought you said you weren't coming in till next week."

"I changed my mind. I can't wait any longer. I want to skip the plans and just let her have it. I want her to suffer like I've suffered. I want her to know what she put me through."

"No my dear lover, we have to stick to the plans. It's working rather nicely. I honestly didn't think it would work out as well. I didn't think that she would buy the bait."  
"I want to attack her now! I can't wait any more Naraku!" She demanded as she walked up to him.  
"All in good time. You wanted her to suffer first remember? She's really taking it all a little too harshly. Maybe the dosages are a bit too much for her." He chuckled as he brought the drink to his lips but as he did so, she grabbed it and threw it against the fridge.

"You better not kill her that way. I will personally take my anger out on you!" The man grabbed her again and slammed her against the counter, this time his hand firmly on her throat. The woman gasped for air and stared angrily at her attacker.

"Listen you stupid wench, you will do as I say. This operation is not in your hands. Remember our little arrangement? Everything's going according to plan even better than anticipated. So don't go around screwing it up, do you hear me?" As he slithered every word, his hand gripped a bit tightly around her neck. She slowly, scornfully nodded her head. Hating every bit of surrendering to her assailant.

He smirked evilly, "That's my girl." He let go and set her on top of the counter, kissing her roughly. "Get. Off. Me. You. Bastard." She growled as she moved her face away from his. He grabbed her face violently and kissed her fiercely. She moaned out of pleasure and continued to, teasingly, pull away from him. He laughed and pulled her hair making her head go back.

"Stop playing hard to get." He growled. She laughed as she pulled his face into hers. She slammed her lips against his and kneed him in the groin. He doubled over in pain. She slid off the counter with a satisfied smug on her face. She lowered herself to his level and whispered into his ear.

"Listen love, don't hurt her. She's mine. You take care of your part and I'll take care of mine. YOU don't mess this up. If you do," she said as she picked up one of the pieces of glass that littered the floor and slowly sliced his arm. He grabbed her arm and kissed her. She pulled away harshly and glared at him. She got up and headed for the door.

"Oh and Kikyo, take care of that mutt that dared to cross our path." She smirked darkly at him and walked out the apartment.

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Well what do you think? I hope that little part doesn't get my story deleted. If it does don't worry, i kept all the chapters. I'll just fix it. But um...forgot what i was going to say oh yea, i forgot how exactly the story was going to unravel so i came up with a more shocking twisted gasping ending. I know you guys might end up hating me for it. It will be sooo shocking. I was even a little shocked myself. Don't worry no one is going to die...maybe. but anyway, it feels good to be back. Well you know the drill, review! The next chapter will come before the 11th. I'm gonna make sure it's done before then. I'll be starting it now. Thank you for coming back and for new readers thank you for giving this story a chance. Until next time.


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